family – sassyfitnesschick

The Unwanted Role of A Widow

As I sit down to write this post and gather my thoughts, journal writings and observations on the topic of being a widow, I find myself grateful for this blog platform. It connects me to readers all over the world I can communicate with.

It is my hope in sharing this path I’ve walked and am still walking, it would offer hope and encouragement to others who are on this unwanted journey.

I’ve decided in my posts, if applicable, to use my own raw and unfiltered journal entries. They are messy, real and have come from the dark broken places in my heart.

Grief is raw, messy and ugly before it starts getting better and you don’t have to make it look pretty.

I remember months after receiving entry to the widowhood club having to indicate my new status on a form in the doctor’s office.

Not married, but now a widow.

I learned early on in my grief as a new widow that no one really understood what that looked like except those who had unwillingly, walked before me.

I was blessed to be surrounded by women who knew and understood, who although our circumstances may have looked different,they had crawled through those first days and nights, weeks and months of trying to live and cope with grief.

With that in mind, it has not been hard to imagine what a young woman may be experiencing in the public spotlight after her husband, Charlie Kirk, was brutally assassinated.

As a widow I share a couple things in common with her.

The swift and unexpected sudden death of your spouse,and being a widow.

I’ve seen some disparaging remarks with strangers weighing in on what her grief looks like. As if she’s doing it in a right or wrong way, if she’s crying or not crying or even smiling. She has been bold in her public display of grief reminding everyone of the ugliness of his death and I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same in her position.

Look at what hate did. Look. At. It.

Then there are all of the unsolicited, unwanted opinions while you are reeling from your loss. All while you attempt to make decisions, and take care of life that is still moving forward at an unrelenting, uncaring pace.

Let me just say, as a Christian woman I know that God gives supernatural strength to stand, to interact with people, to engage, and do what is necessary.

Although not in the public spotlight, I stood and I spoke at my husband’s service and led my family through those dark days. The strength I had and still have, isn’t my own.

Mrs Kirks strength comes from God as she navigates so much while still in shock and I cheer for her knowing in a small way, the weight of this unwanted role, a role you didn’t ask for and didn’t want, all while trying to survive.

Opinions abound when you are widowed.

I know in the months ahead people will still come in with their own opinions on what they “think” she should do or not do or if it looks like she’s grieving and sad enough ( whatever that looks like)

The bottom line though? No one is walking in your shoes. No one understands exactly what you are going through, the daily pain you carry, the agonizing nights, brain fog and mental exhaustion, the unexpected memories that tank you, the survival mode you are thrust into…

The list goes on.

You don’t ask for this new title of widow ( or widower) there is no book to tell you how to navigate every single day you wake up to them being gone, managing a life without them.

You just take in the day and you just do what is necessary to survive.

And I have survived. I’ve lived. I’ve not given up or allowed my grief to keep me down.

I had a word for myself for 2024 and it was “thrive”. Even in my grief and loss I was determined to live, to thrive, to move forward. My husband expected me to keep living even in my pain and I did.

Just note though dear reader, if you’re in this place, not everyone will cheer your courage to live, and to live out loud.

It makes them uncomfortable.

They will have their thoughts and opinions on how you live. Just drown out the white noise, focus on your grief and your healing and keep moving forward.

You may not have signed up for the widowhood club but you can weep and grieve all while moving forward and taking hold of the life you still have left to live.

You deserve it, don’t hold back from it.

Monday Musings

As I’ve pondered some ideas this week for my open ended Monday post I reflected that there were certainly enough thoughts to run with but decided to focus on just one.

This topic is near and dear to my heart, one I don’t take lightly, the precious gift of my family.

Family. We all have one and they all look different.

I’m blessed to have a large circle and they are made up of all kinds of wild and wonderful personalities that make us unique.

The past few weeks have been spent with them in various ways, from celebrations and gatherings to most recently, family from out of state.

When someone comes in it becomes the perfect reason to plan meals, arrange lunch dates, and even work in some shopping.

Saturday night it was all at my home. Actually, I host a dinner for my grown kids and grandkids every week but this one included extended fam and my out of town family.

It was loud and full of happy sounds. The kids always seem to take it a notch over as they play and interact with each other.

We ate, we laughed, we told stories. We shared future plans and ideas and caught up.

I just watched them all around the table, each one special in their own way, so precious to me.

Later, when everyone began to make the move to leave, somehow we all gravitated to the kitchen, still talking, not quite willing to end it.

When the last goodbye was said I went about doing all of the tidying up, putting things away, and adding one last dish to the overflowing dishwasher.

Going through those motions reminded me, again, how blessed I am. How sweet my life is with the beautiful people I share it with.

I don’t take any of that for granted.

As I finished up the last thing I did was transfer the remaining cake to a much smaller plate. My family always appreciates my baked good offerings 😅

A sweet ending to a sweet week.

I’m thankful for the goodness of them all. ❤️ Hold yours close to you.

And that cake? I’ll share the recipe. It may become one of your new fall favorites 😉

Grief Before Loss

In my most recent post with you I shared that I had lost my husband in 2023 after a valiant battle with cancer. Losing a spouse will massively derail you in life unless you stand up and really fight back to live, and I mean fight.

Among things derailed,my ability to have the energy or mental clarity to write. Yet writing in my journal these past few years has also been cathartic to release a lot of what I dealt with day to day. It has freed me in so many ways and now, looking back, I can see how far I have come in this journey.

At two years out I think, or maybe I’m wrong, there’s an assumption it’s time to move on and quit talking about it. Especially when your life appears to be going well.

The reality is, he lived, he mattered, he was our person. Talking about him keeps him alive and remembered. Remembering involves tears and laughter. It has moments that are painstakingly, bittersweet, that can almost crush my heart.

And as I shared in my recent post, I’m setting out to write and unpack my suitcase of lessons learned, life still lived, and maybe, some hopeful encouragement to someone reading.

Today I’m examining a thought that may not be known until you walk this road. There is this overall awareness that when your spouse dies is when your grief actually begins.

No one really talks about the grief that sets in years and months before they are actually gone from you. This is especially true if your partner has a disease that they are battling.

The loss comes in all kinds of ways. The worst is the subtleness of how it slowly changes the relationship you had prior to the disease.

The healthy relationship, not the one where a disease begins to set up camp and starts to slowly steal and rob even the most common and ordinary things you share together.

It starts small but gradually things move to you being a protector, you begin to handle more in the relationship, you are more watchful to their needs as they do a little less, and eventually, a lot less. The activities you used to do together become minimal versions or eventually, disappear.

You are aware of their energy level and how it has declined so you step in to do more. Slowly, your relationship changes to a new look.

A new look that neither of you want.

And you grieve.

You cry in the shower or in the car when you take a moment out because the agony of what you’re losing is constantly in front of you and you are helpless to stop it.

An unrelenting reminder that not only are you losing your relationship, you’re slowly, painfully losing them day by day.

And you grieve.

As we moved through increasingly more doctor appointments, tests, scans, and 4.5 hour drives to MD Anderson there was always the new anxiety riding along of what those tests would reveal and how that would further take us down this path.

I took over driving us everywhere ( a job he did not give up lightly or easily) yet another thing in this new angle of our relationship.

On those long trips back home we had lots of hard conversations. Real ones that no one wants to have. As hard as they were, I’m glad we had them.

Sometimes those drives back were at night. He would fall asleep and I’d have nothing but dark highway in front of me for hours, scared, tired, and alone with my thoughts, the tears would come for what I was losing and what we had already lost.

The grief was real and painful long before God called him home.

So when it happens and they are now gone, you aren’t just grieving from that moment of loss, but you are also grieving all of the years,months and days that have gone by while you knew you were losing them.

I had days where all of it, every day in those past years he battled that awful disease, along with him being gone, culminated into agony I can’t describe.

The reality is, no one sees this. They don’t see the intimacy of it or the day to day struggles leading towards your ultimate loss.

They don’t see the grief you already carry.

I hope if you’ve ever had to walk this out that you know I get it, I understand. I hope you know that your grief before your actual loss is valid, I see you.

Take time to honor it all on your journey as you heal and move forward.

Monday Musings

Today’s Monday Musings is brought to you, courtesy of, my birthday.

Yep, another spin around the sun and the opportunity for another year of doing this thing called life. At the risk of sounding cliche, I’m beyond grateful and thankful for it.

The good, the bad, the messy and joyful. The mundane and extraordinary. I try to live in those daily moments and simply appreciate them for what they are.

Some days, honestly, that can be hard.

Other days it’s blissfully easy.

All of it rolled together are moments that have built and shaped me into who I am. My strengths and weaknesses forging a stronger, wiser and more determined woman.

Reflection

Every year I allow time to look back and reflect where I am, and who I am. How I’ve grown and what I’ve learned. Goals I’ve set and accomplished. In it there is always that mix of success and struggles.

And you know what? That’s really ok. Struggles lead to success and success always makes me want to strive for more.

On a business level, I’ve achieved new things this year I hadn’t even calculated last year. There are risks and payoffs. They go hand in hand. I’m pretty happy with the forward movement of it all.

Do I want more? To build and accomplish more? You bet I do. I’m grateful for skills and talents I’ve been given that I work daily cultivating. I’ve learned to just let my creativity out and when I do there’s total satisfaction in what comes from it.

On a personal level, I had a total knee replacement last year. 😬

Yep, a super sonic titanium knee.

And you know what? It’s awesome and I do not regret having it done. ( you can check out an entire post on it here on my blog)

I love when people have said “oh you’re so young to have that done!” 😂 yeah well, I don’t dig pain, so a new knee it is.

One of the cool things about getting older….stuff breaks. I’m really joking. I’m super appreciative of being strong and rather sturdy….my knee just had other ideas.

And honestly, I am grateful for my health. Eating well and attempting some exercise most days of the week has been my goal to maintain a healthy body… and mind. Never underestimate how exercise can help your mental well being.

Still working on those girl muscles….into my 50s.

Being comfortable in my skin

I guess for the most part, I always have been. I think age helps nail it down more, ya know, the ability to just embrace who I am. I am authentic and my heart is genuine. I can be sassy, sarcastic and have a quick wit. I also know how to stand up for myself and can speak my mind when needed…..not rude….I just know how to use my voice.

I feel people, their joy and pain and can read them more than the words they speak, or don’t speak. Being empathetic can sometimes feel painful. My mom would refer to it as wearing my heart on my sleeve.

Somehow, that has deepened with age.

Another part of growing is knowing you might not be everyone’s cup of tea but it’s also knowing you’re the most refreshing drink for others. And those…. those are the ones I focus on. They make me laugh, bring me joy, and challenge and support me.

I also think in a world full of more chaos that allowing love, grace and mercy to be something that I freely bestow on not just those I know, but the people I don’t know, people like myself just trying to get through this thing called life. The world seems to be in desperate need of love and grace and I want to be someone who gives that out.

The celebration

My family celebrated me last night with a wonderful meal hosted at my sons house. My daughter in law prepared a feast and made my favorite cake. My mom used to make me a homemade German chocolate ones…they were amazing. She passed away in 2014 and my family in the years after have made cakes for me…my husband, daughter or daughter in law.

My daughter in law has taken it on herself to make sure I get a homemade german chocolate cake the past few years and it is something that touches me deeply. Birthdays are still hard…I miss my mom. But I am so blessed to have people who love me so well.

Thank goodness there were a modest amount of candles 😅

Moving ahead

I know people often get caught up in the past or focused on things that don’t serve them anymore. Every year brings a new season. I look forward to new growth, staying open to fresh ideas and simply appreciating where I am…..at this stage of life. There is still much to learn, new goals to set and achieve and so many opportunities in front of me.

Cheers to another year of #50ish 😉

Monday Musings

As I write this post I wonder if I’m the only one aware that the seasons are doing that sneaky, yet subtle, shift. Darkness has fallen earlier stealing the long lazy evenings with lingering daylight that I fully embrace.

Long evenings allowing me to go out and do work on my projects or just enjoy the cooler air as the sun has dropped over the horizon. Long evenings where the breeze caresses my skin and I can watch light gradually fade and the moon begin to rise.

But that has changed. The long evenings have been replaced by earlier darkness forcing me to wrap up outside work. As much as I embrace fall, I miss aspects of the summer season.

Anyone else relate?

Not my backyard, but somewhere in the world…..

Right now though in south Texas we will enjoy a variety of weather as we get crisp fall mornings yet still have afternoons that are definitely comfortable short weather. This can go on for months. It’s always a toss up to what we get.

Hey after all, only earlier this year we got snowed in not only once, but twice, in the same week.

Surreal. Absolutely surreal. For all of us it was a weird, most likely, once in a lifetime thing.

A few of the many pics from that epic week

Ok and I get it. If you’re up north or in parts of the world you see this all the time, don’t send me hate mail over my snow pics. 😉 you are not impressed with this stuff. I get it. Hopefully, we won’t see that kind of winter this year!

Ok…on to other topics….

We did have a nice chilly morning this week which had me digging out a bit more clothing for my outdoor activities. I had recently gotten new shoes so I wanted to start logging some miles on them ( Did a little over 4)

Black. What all cool kids wear. My new Asics are too.

As I’ve shared briefly in previous posts, I had a total knee replacement in April. I just hit my 6 month out. I figure I’ll be doing a post on my experience fairly soon. I have chronicled things from the start and have tried to use my voice to encourage or help others in this process.

Meanwhile….I’ve not exactly been doing nothing…

I’ve got goals ya’ll. But we will chat more about that later.

In things that make me laugh….

My granddaughters critters watching the football game

We arrived at my grandsons football game Saturday and my granddaughter has positioned her critters with a front row seat for the game. In a crazy world, I constantly embrace the beauty of my grandkids and the simplicity of childhood.

And listen, if you don’t have any of these yet, they are totally worth it. You love them in such a special different way. ❤ I feel beyond, and I mean, beyond blessed and fortunate that my kids grew up, started their families and wanted to have their homes on family property ( cool when you have space for them to do that) I mean, they liked us enough to stick around 😜

In other news….

I’ve shared before about my vintage business and love for old things. I got this pink stool earlier in the week. If there’s a time period that fascinates me, it is the short lived 50s pink kitchen era. So to find a pink stool, even if it was dirty and needed a cleaning, was impossible to pass up. Now the question remains, will it go to my shop? 🤔

Original ad for the common kitchen stool

Before I leave you…

I’ve gotta share a few recipes I’ve used lately. Having a big family that likes to hang out and eat, I’m always testing new foods.

Here’s one of my favorite “one pan ” recipes that’s always popular.

https://pin.it/1KUIqvy

Tasty, and fast to assemble.

https://pin.it/9JLma9B

And another popular dinner. I cannot tell you how delicious this is…try it!

And of course I need to leave you with a dessert. And what’s better than a fall inspired one called Fresh Apple cake. I’ve made this like 3 times this month. The beauty of this recipe? Stir it all into one bowl, pour in pan and bake. The frosting is cooked in one pan on stove that you pour on top.

https://pin.it/1v8I0cU

Ok, your turn! How’s life? What’s new? Who is ready for upcoming holidays?

Saturday Snippets

In this edition of Saturday Snippets…..

It’s Independence Day here in the U.S.A!

Happy 4th of July to us.

The quintessential summer holiday marked with sunny skies, warm to horribly hot weather, kids in swimming pools, family gatherings with potluck foods of all types, tasty desserts, and after darkness finally falls on a long summer day, glorious fireworks.

My family is no different as we will gather to celebrate and observe the wonderful freedoms we’ve been given and of course, enjoy some good food.

I thought I’d share a recipe with you I found years ago in an ice cream cookbook ( uh, do you call ice cream, cooking??)

Anyway, it was a huge success and it’s been made for many July 4th celebrations. Not only is it amazingly delicious, it is beyond simple to assemble and then let the ice cream machine do the rest of the work.

*** on a side note, as I write this, said machine is making awful noises and I’m praying it will limp through one more go round of ice cream making.*** 😱

My scrawled happy face in the corner years ago is the thumbs up of approval for making again.

Nothing says summer coolness like real cream and fresh strawberries, and a little sugar thrown in for fun.

As we celebrate this year it is hard not to be mindful of all of the upheaval and concerns in our country.

However, even in the mix of difficulties, and overall unknowns with some things in our world, I still believe I live in the greatest country.

I’m proud to be an American and am blessed by all we have, the opportunities available, and most of all, our freedom.

Happy Independence Day!

Tell me, do you like to make homemade ice cream?

Oh That Super Bowl Show!

So the biggest game in football happened this past weekend, the “creme de la creme” culminating the year in football.

I’m happy Kansas won. After a 50 year hiatus they came in with an impressive finishing win.

Then… then….there was the half time show.

The half time show is either a time people go get food and another beer or they settle in waiting to see the million dollar entertainment.

Well, let’s just say those who watched the show seemed to have lots to say. The internet has been a plethora of opinions, much like my Facebook newsfeed.

This post is written from my personal opinion. You may have a different one.

That’s alright too.

Our opinions are shaped by everything from our age, the generation we were raised in, our upbringing, the things we deem important and valuable, to our own personal moral convictions.

So many factors shape our personal opinions.

It’s ok to have different opinions and respect each other in those opinions.

Life would be really boring if we all thought alike.

What does bug me though are opinions grounded in ignorance. A little education goes a long way on a topic to present a more informed opinion. You lose me with an ignorance based opinion.

With that being said..on with the show.

It was “good/bad”.

Those were some comments I first saw. But look, the whole “good or bad” thing is totally subjective based on well, what you, personally like.

Your thoughts on the overall quality of show are based on your music tastes, your entertainment preferences, and even your personal thoughts and feelings on how performers are dressed and perform.

This years entire show was very Latin themed (obviously) but if Billy the cowboy had been on, or someone’s favorite hip hop artist with every fourth word getting bleeped out, (or whoever) were featured artists then I’m sure those people would’ve declared it “good!” and “awesome!”

Why? Because it would’ve fallen in areas that they enjoy and prefer.

An opinion of “good or bad” is totally subjective.

The players

Of course this years heading line duo was Shakira and Jennifer Lopez ( J Lo) . Now if I were to believe some things I’ve read you would think people had no idea what these women did.

For years…years…they have been singers and dancers. High energy singers and dancers. J Lo is also an actress.

They are entertainers.

So unless you’ve lived under a rock you would know these women are powerhouses in their industry.

I expected no less than a high octane performance with lots of Latin moves.

The rhetoric

I’ve read so many posts screaming about how inappropriate they were dressed, the the dancing, the pole dance and belly dancing.

Oh my, we will get to those items in a moment.

First, I thought their costumes were more covering and fitted than some artists I’ve seen in the past. Skimpy? Yes. Does it go with what they do as performers, also yes.

Were they covered way more than what you and your family can view on a public beach or at the pool? Also yes.

I mean last year Maroon 5’s frontman, Adam Levine, was out there in nothing but well fitted jeans, and his tatted very well muscled chest on display.

I didn’t have a problem with that 😜 but c’mon, technically he was half naked. Let’s stop double standards.

And people went crazy…especially the women. And this year the women are too, just in a different way.

Angry women

I have to admit to a huge amount of shock as I’ve read post after post of women ranting labeling these performers as everything from “floozies, poor role models, trashy, vulgar, etc etc” I know there were alot more adjectives used…..ah the judgement.

Fortunately, I’ve also got some women in the other camp who cast a different eye at it.

Ha..I’m not alone 😜

Shakira and JLo delivered a high octance show that was Vegas worthy.

Here’s the deal, again my humble opinion.

All the sudden the show starts and there are two stunning, strong, confident, athletic, fit middle aged women (Shakira is 43, J Lo 50)

Totally killing it.

They looked amazing and the cardio out put of that show no one could’ve kept up with.

These women are mothers and powerful business women. They are at the top of their game.

I dare say, there were alot of women munching chips and cheese dip behind their tv screen all the sudden being reminded that they’ve gained weight and are out of shape and maybe its time to get back to exercise and doing a check on the nutrition.

Maybe there were elements that made them uncomfortable personally, and not because of the costumes and dancing.

On the other hand I had many friends making jokes on how they needed to start working out again.

As a middle aged woman and an athlete, I was in awe of what they brought. I’m not intimidated by other women so I guess I just studied it all in a different way.

It’s not family friendly!

Really.

The half time shows almost always have an edge to them. And come on, who remembers Janet Jacksons MAJOR wardrobe malfunction years ago? Beyonce’s performance was pretty….shaking, grinding, wiggling in less clothes with plenty of crotch angles.

I also want to know….whose kids are all actually clustered around the tv watching the game and gearing up for half time show?

Mine were always running around and now as adults, still care less about the show.

If you happen to have children who actually sit and watch game and are waiting eagerly for the entertainment, you as the adult, if you feel what is coming on isn’t “family friendly” have the ultimate remote control power to change the channel.

Simple.

Belly dancing and pole dancing, oh my!

If I had a quarter every time that was brought up..well.. I’d have a whole lotta change.

My eye rolls though….🙄

Listen, last time I checked, these activites aren’t cardinal sins.

My favorite thing I’ve read is indigent Karen and Becky proclaiming it as “porn”.

Now I’m not a huge expert here, but I’m pretty sure, fairly confident, that isn’t porn.

I took belly dancing classes years ago ( oh my, I did).

You know what I learned?

It is crazy hard. It’s a ton of work.

You have to learn to move your hips while completely isolating movement of other parts of your body. You have to learn to use your arms while doing mentioned activities with hips.

It’s like patting your head and rubbing your tummy, doing it quickly

It is work and a huge talent.

My core was so sore after each session

Gosh, no wonder Shakira’s abs looked amazing.

This was also a nod to her Lebanese heritage, so many want to ignore that.

The pole dancing with J Lo?

Listen it was really no shock she put that in her show giving a nod to her most recent movie where she learned to pole dance in preparation for it.

Again, being able to do that requires a tremendous amount of strength and power to do gymnastic moves up and down that pole.

I can tell you there wasn’t a single male athlete Sunday who could’ve done what she did. None.

Are these poles used in mens clubs? Yes (I’ve heard ) so many women keep saying that 😉

Are the poles unto themselves, sexual?

No.

People need to stop sexualizing so many things that don’t need to be.

FYI, it is on my bucket list to try. Does that make me morally awful? Trashy? Not a good parent? Pretty sure I won’t be in alot of clothes learning to do it either.

We need to stop sexualizing so many things in our world today that aren’t.

What do we need to address?

Let’s bring this home, right in our back yard.

Let’s talk about our girls and young women in our town, family, friends etc and how they are portrayed, in a way, sexualized, before they should be.

Human trafficking is an awful thing. The super bowl isn’t the vehicle for it. Can it contribute in some way? Possibly.

Human trafficking is far closer home than the super bowl.

Let’s talk about little girls in dance classes and beauty pageants.

I’ve seen costumes that make me raise my eyebrows. They are far to sexual looking for their young age. Then there’s all the make up and I’ve seen plenty of dances with them shaking things everywhere. Two piece sets with their little tummies exposed and their baby bottoms in spandex.

Oh.

But that’s “cute”.

I’m a mom and grandmother and yeah, I might not think much of it, but do you know about people around you?

Let’s move up to older girls…middle school, high school.

Cheer and dance teams.

Anyone ever seen costumes these young women are in, loaded with lots of make up, shaking their hips everywhere in a dance? I’ve seen costumes that made me wonder why an adult picked them out for the girls to wear.

Ah. That’s ok though.

This is where we need to worry. This is where we need to stop accepting it’s cute or whatever and stop sexualizing young girls in a world full of horrible people who would look at them in a way you didn’t want.

I’ve seen grown men gaping at these young women and I can guarantee they aren’t thinking how great they are dancing.

Stop filtering your childrens faces to look older with that plastic flawless look.

If people are worried about their kids, start at home and don’t be ok with things that make them appear more grown up than they are.

There are( perhaps) people who look at them, and not in the right ways. And unfortunately, you have no idea who they are.

Two middle age women aren’t the root of the problem. They aren’t supposed to be the moral guidance for your kids. Your family, teachers, church leaders, friends etc would be more realistic leaders.

The show

Was I ok with it all?

Nah, the crotch shots could’ve been left out and never affected the show.

The two rapper dudes….Bad Bunny and J Balvin? Although carefully placed in the show they looked awkwardly out of place surrounded by beautiful women.

The shaking, wiggling etc…well there are two Latin women bringing it and it’s in their blood.

I’m sorta envious at how effortless they make dancing look.

The show though had so much symbolism and it all reflected their Latin heritage and spoke to some issues in our world today.

Perhaps that was the problem so many people had.

Latin women, Latin inspired show, idk hopefully there’s no racism smacking there.

The nod to America and Puerto Rico when she wore both flags with that stunning cape was to bring awareness to the need there…not to mention she is a Puerto Rican Amercian.

So much symbolism. I’ll let you look it all up if you don’t know what was behind it all.

The costumes? I thought everything was gloriously sparkly 😉 and loved how they used a silver and gold contrast at the end.

And the screaming over their costumes?

Let’s be real. Have you ever seen those costumes the cheerleaders wear every, single game in front of kids and God and everybody?

Yeah.

The bottom line

You will never make everyone happy.

Having a “good or bad ” show will be subjective to the individual.

The headlining artists are posted well in advance. If it doesn’t float your boat, or you’re worried about your children’s eyes, family values etc, just don’t watch.

I realize if that approach is taken people can’t complain or be appropriately shocked, something that many seem to enjoy participating in.

I personally thought it was a high energy show and I loved seeing empowered, strong women doing what they do best.

Just my sassy thoughts. What was your take on the half time show?

The Simplicity Of Christmas

**Disclaimer** this time of year makes me horribly reflective and often very nostalgic.

It’s also a perfect breeding ground for the musings of my mind, which in turn propels me to write……so I will be doing some fun family, Christmassy kinds of posts through the month because that makes me happy and there are other facets to me besides my focus on sane health and fitness …

You may now proceed…. 😊

Like many of you, I was scampering around doing some Christmas shopping today. I’ve scored a lot online which has been the cats meow but there were other things I prefer to search for in person.

Like for all the littles I shop for.

I want to hear what a toy sounds like, feels like, and more importantly, looks like.

Shopping for the kids is always fun. Seriously.

Maybe it’s just a time that I can just recall wonderful memories of childhood Christmases.

I still think baby dolls belong under the tree. I loved this doll.

Kids still have this untainted, happy, grateful attitude with Christmas that often gets lost as many grow older.

Kids don’t care if a certain “name” is on the gift….meaning designer things don’t impress them. They don’t care what store it came from or if they will be able to impress their little friends with it.

They don’t care about the cost. They aren’t leveling any judgment if they think you didn’t spend enough or if the quality isn’t up to their level of expectation.

Looking back, it was often the most random, inexpensive things our kids would love.

Children still have a refreshing grasp of Christmas. They embrace the magic and simplicity. They are still caught up in awe and wonder and the pure joy of receiving gifts.

This is why it makes it so fun and easy for me to shop for them.

Maybe, just maybe, in our grown up adulthood we could embrace some of those pure child like characteristics again at Christmas.

After all the first Christmas was filled with awe, wonder, and a whole lotta supernatural magical moments.

The first Christmas when Christ was born wasn’t by any means extravagant. It was simply embraced with awe and wonder, deep musings, and a whole lotta joy.

I hope in the hustle and bustle of this Christmas season you allow yourself to embrace it with the purity and simplicity of a wondering child, and that in the stillness of those moments you also find the pure beauty and simplicity in the birth of our Savior, Jesus, the most amazing gift of all.

Monday Musings

So as I’m lounging on my sofa tonight drinking copious amounts of coffee I keep thinking it’s already Sunday night, yet it’s not.

Yay…one more weekend day.

It IS entirely probable my brain is fried from a busy day of hosting my 3 year old granddaughters birthday party with a house full of loud, active and busy kids hyped up on youthful energy and a dash of sugar.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.

The birthday party was a success and my granddaughter embraced the day with complete wild abandon.

I would not have expected any less from her.

I joke she’s my spirit animal but really I aspire to live each day with the constant joy and enthusiasm she has for all situations.

Ah…but back to the weekend

That means time to work on more of my vintage and antique projects. I need more time! 😫

I’ve picked up some uber cool pieces the past couple weeks. Between doing pieces for my shop ( things are moving out fairly quick there..not a bad problem) I’ve picked up quite a few custom orders as well as repeat customers so I guess you can say I always have a project going on.

Not a bad problem to have.

Ok …I know you wanna see some of the goodies… 😁

What about this turn of the century serpentine dresser?

It gets its name from the style of drawers..

The lady advertised *it needs work”. Thankfully, I have mad repair skills.

Oh…did I mention this beauty was 5.00?

Yes you’re reading right. It’s gonna cost a ton of labor but the end result will be awesome.

***listen to that confidence***

What about this old radio cabinet?

Yeah check out the original label in it…

I have a customer who quickly claimed it. She will put a stereo in where old one was…she wants it for her boys who collect records. I’m sanding and staining it for her.

And then I finished off this custom order. I got this old vanity and bench last summer. I showed it to a customer and she wanted it for a desk. The bench stayed with me for another project

Oh….here’s the after pic….

Sweet, clean and ready for a new adventure.

In more reflective thoughts….

I’ve got two things dancing in my head.

1. When did the world become so full of self entitled people?

AND

2. Do young people really have such a poor working knowledge of basic daily math?

Ok..my first thought.

This has been in my head awhile from various experiences.

Working at my sons shop ( ah.. dealing with the public) I’m often shocked at customers who think they don’t have to pay for a service or think they shouldn’t have to pay what has been charged or he should do work for free,the list goes on…. there are times I’m left speechless.

Hmm… or more like attempting to hold my tongue. 🙄

However I had a personal experience this weekend when a customer went to my shop to buy a piece of furniture. I wasn’t working on this day ( we’re a co-op and as vendors work a few days a month) she had previously messaged me about price and I told her what it was. Yet when she got to shop, she angled at getting a lower price. Her husband even suggested to checker they should get it for even less. Then went on to act shocked/annoyed they had to pay tax.

Like…dude. This isn’t a yard sale and do you even live in this country? This is a store…you pay tax. This is life.

Death and taxes… it’s a given.

Self entitlement. It’s an ugly thing in our society.

My second point.

I had two similar experiences this week. I had stopped at a new coffee shop to you know, share the wealth and to try their coffee.

After getting past the shock of my small cold brew being 4.33 I handed her my money.

10.33

You get it, right?

Now let me say I’m not the world’s best math whiz. I don’t know who ever thought that putting the alphabet in math problems was a good thing and I literally passed high school algebra by the skin of my teeth.

But daily working math? I’ve got that. I can count change back and run mental numbers in my head. I can figure percentages and do estimates etc

You know….Basic life math that we all need.

It appears a lot of young people can’t do that.

The young girl took my money and proceeded to hand me change as if I hadn’t given her the change with my bill. I told her ijust needed 6.00 back.

She then fished more change out and handed me that along with my change and I said I don’t need change, just 6.00.

She laughed nervously and said “ohhhh I get it”

I’m pretty sure she didn’t get it.

Then on another day in a drive thru. My order was 2.52.

I tripped the poor guy up handing him 10.52.

I waited…and waited…wondering if I was gonna get my change back. Finally he slowly handed my money out the window.

6.00.

I said “Hey sweetie I’m supposed to get 8.00 back” to which he asked for my receipt?

Then he carefully handed 2.00 more out the window. I imagined him standing there trying to figure out what fresh hell I was putting him through as he attempted to decipher how much money to give me back.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Is the younger generation so dependent on machines to think that they can’t operate with basic, easy skills?

Remember counting in ones,fives, tens, etc in elementary school? Isn’t that the basic idea in counting money?

What happened here?

When I mentioned it to my son ( who is a part of this generation) his response… they’re all dumb. 😱

That may be a bit harsh, but it’s a disturbing reality in our society.

Maybe we should bring back home economics and basic life skills classes? 🤔

Ok I’ll hop off my soap box now and on to complete randomness you could do without

Do you know Amazon has something called “chip fingers”?

For real.

And yeah, I didn’t know what they were either, but thanks to my little band of misfit friends I got educated.

Evidently they are like little socks for your finger tips so while you’re noshing on Cheetos or Doritos you don’t get those nuclear orange finger tips…I hope you aren’t eating those…. but if you do they are evidently helpful for keeping your fingers clean from eating anything messy.

Ah…how did we ever get along before?? I’ll attach the link so you know I’m not tricking you 😉

Maybe you should buy a set and impress your friends.

Speaking of orange

Ii see all the fall stuff showing up in the stores, but honestly with Texas still rocking July like temps, it does not put me on the fall mood…at all.

Ii did recently give in and buy an adorable sweater with the anticipation that some day I may get to wear it…

I may have bought a thing or two else along with it…..

Seriously though, I’m ready for some of those perfect fall days.

Has fall showed up where you live?

In conclusion…..

My athletic shenanigans. This sums up exactly how I feel…….

I’ve been off running for months. Long story short, an x ray date with my sports doctor, me thinking I’ve done something that’s gonna need surgery and he presents me with “you have arthritis ” was not what I was prepared to hear.

I’ve been doing some PT work to stretch and work muscles that have gotten tight with a greatly reduced physical work load. Gonna see how some of this helps and just go from there. I’ll tell you this…I’m not gonna just take this and go lay down somewhere nor do I plan on giving up.

There will be an upcoming post on my PT adventures…so stay tuned for that 😜

Meanwhile, I’m increasing my strength training days. I even upped my dead lifts last week to 185, so there’s that. Rowing is a good substitute for running so I will continue my rowing skills and of course, cycling. That should keep me busy, right?

Your turn….what’s going on in your world? Has fall showed up yet? What athletic activities keep you busy?

Birthday Reflections

And just like that, it’s time to celebrate another birthday.

Is it me, or does time really ( seem) to move faster as you get older?

Gone are the days where the only concern was how much play time you had or which friends were available to hang out. Lazy summers and no cares in the world.

Those times in our lives seem rather fleeting don’t they?

But wait. Hang with me.

This isn’t a sappy post, but one I more enjoy doing as a way of reflection on the year gone by.

It gives me opportunity to see areas of growth and areas I need to shape up more.

I’m smack in the mid 50s now.

Go me.

I get Aarp fliers in the mail and am close to qualifying for discounts in some places.

Yes.

Yes I will shamelessly work my age to save a few bucks 🤣

I go for my yearly doctor visits and the little 20 something girl checking me in acts surprised I don’t have a bag of meds with me.

Ah well. Whatever.

Age is merely a number that I’ve never allowed to define me.

Have you ever noticed though, how people do? And boy, do some people get bent out of shape when you don’t stay in the box and play by all the same old and tired “rules”.

**yawn** what’s a box?

Like at certain ages there are expected normal behaviors because you’re “that age.”

Listen, I have no problem diving onto a swing and flying through the air when I’m with the grand babies at the park or any other unadultish shenanigans.

The expectation of society is as you get older you should lay things aside, and uh, “act your age”.

Whatever that means.

Just be quiet and fade away…not likely.

So here I am grateful for another year to live, move, and breathe in this beautiful gift we have called life.

Wisdom

I have to laugh as I hear so many of my young friends bemoaning the fact that they are only a couple years from….30.

It does amuse me ’cause I’m well to the other side of that and I know that life is still good, better even, and really it’s ok.

I enjoyed all the decades behind me but I long for none of them. Each one was a season in my life. A season to learn and grow. To gain wisdom and a wee bit of maturity 😉

It is now, sitting in the middle of another decade, that I can reflect how each one was a working out of the woman I am.

Good times, bad times, hard and easy, frustrations and joys, light and dark, every single season was shaping me.

Wisdom is a gift I greatly appreciate and I can see it more clearly now that ever.

Comfortable in the skin I live in

I have always been comfortable in my existence. But getting older has only solidified that.

I’m good with myself.

I don’t say that in an egotistical way, just a fact. To be comfortable with who you are, the very essence of who you are, is freedom.

It means being ok with your good stuff and not so good stuff. It’s knowing I’m not perfect but strive to be the best I can be. I try to remain open and teachable.

It’s also accepting every part of my physical self and never, ever comparing myself to someone else. To do so only would breed dissatisfaction and be an affront to my Maker.

There is only one of me. I will appreciate the gift of that.

No approval needed.

I don’t need approval to be me….and same goes for you. By that I mean at this stage of my life, I know who I am.

I know what I like and what I don’t like. I know what makes my heart sing and what weighs it down. I know how to speak up when I need to in being able to express myself, how I think or feel,or to nicely say no thank you to something.

I know how to stand up and own who I am ( and I don’t mean in a rude or disrespectful way) I know who I am.

It’s not worrying about others or their personal opinions. It’s not being concerned if someone approves or disapproves based on what they would or wouldn’t do.

This past year I’ve…….

Experienced alot of things. Lots of ordinary life stuff, but also bigger events that have challenged me.

I started my fifth year with this blog. It’s been an outlet in writing but my main goal is to keep offering sensible, sane, realistic lifestyle and fitness encouragement and help. I’m blessed by all of you who take the time to read, comment, and offer words of encouragement back to me. I’ve slowly built my own brand as Sassyfitnesschick and plan to keep offering my own flavor of health and fitness tips, all with a side dish of sass 😉

I trained for, and finished my second duathlon. I also again, took first in my age group. I cannot tell you what a challenging yet fulfilling event this was for me. The training as much as the cold,rainy, miserable race day all shaped me in a different way.

I learned more about resilience,tenacity and a whole lotta stubbornness in me.

Ok…well.. the stubbornness is nothing new 😉

I recently was talking to hubby about something and I said ” I don’t quit” to which from behind his glasses and iPad I get a snort followed by “realllyy??”

And then…”Well that’s not a bad thing”

And I don’t. I jump into the deep end with anything I do and I give it my all.

This month marks my one year anniversary since I started my little vintage business last year. When I jumped in I thought I’d try a few months and see how it went. Before I knew it I had hit the 6 month mark. Spring time I moved into a bigger space ( and bigger rent) yet somehow each month it seemed I was to keep going.

Last month when I was notified the lease on building wasnt being renewed and I’d have to either uproot and move elsewhere or just fold it all up and…quit…well that just wasn’t an option. And then there was a perfect space just waiting for me…and now I’m in and settled and can hardly wait to see how this year unfolds.

As a writer, who has a blog, it’s hard for me to not observe people. As a very social creature it’s quite easy for me to interact with just about anyone. This year I’ve met some interesting people, and not always people who look “normal”. By that I mean they are colorful in their clothing choices,word choices,art work on their bodies or offbeat fashion style, not to mention colorful personalities. I find that refreshing. I love how they are good at pushing back against the norm. Long ago, when my oldest was in a rock band, I learned not to judge books by their covers.

My home could often be filled with big men in all black, wearing tons of makeup, plenty of piercings and other non- main stream looks. Yet under it all were sweet guys who loved raiding my cookie jar. Being reminded of those truths makes it quite easy for me to appreciate those who march to the beat of their own drum.

That’s how life works right?

Day by day it unfolds full of the daily norm, the unexpected, the high’s and low’s and if we look for it, plenty of joys too.

The unfolding of this last year has shown me ( more than ever) that I really can do anything. I’ve learned so much more about mental discipline. It’s the strength and unwillingness to quit which spills out into everything I do.

New challenges can be hard and I strive too let them to do the work of making me stronger. I’m facing some now and am trying to remind myself of this.

Getting older isn’t some horrible thing.

Some will never have the chance to experience it.

What’s horrible is remaining unchanged, unyielding, holding onto grudges, judging, poor behaviors, or personal slights, refusing to see different view points or being unwilling to listen to how another person sees something. It’s horrible to age and still hold onto things that should’ve been let go of a long time ago. In my opinion those things are far worse than getting older.

I think age really, is a huge state of mind. I believe how we view it impacts how out loud we live all our days.

My goal is to do it gracefully, to love well, to continue to be open and teachable, to learn and grow from this ride called life, and most of all, never, ever quit.

Cheers to a new year!