As I sit down to write this post and gather my thoughts, journal writings and observations on the topic of being a widow, I find myself grateful for this blog platform. It connects me to readers all over the world I can communicate with.
It is my hope in sharing this path I’ve walked and am still walking, it would offer hope and encouragement to others who are on this unwanted journey.
I’ve decided in my posts, if applicable, to use my own raw and unfiltered journal entries. They are messy, real and have come from the dark broken places in my heart.
Grief is raw, messy and ugly before it starts getting better and you don’t have to make it look pretty.
I remember months after receiving entry to the widowhood club having to indicate my new status on a form in the doctor’s office.
Not married, but now a widow.
I learned early on in my grief as a new widow that no one really understood what that looked like except those who had unwillingly, walked before me.
I was blessed to be surrounded by women who knew and understood, who although our circumstances may have looked different,they had crawled through those first days and nights, weeks and months of trying to live and cope with grief.
With that in mind, it has not been hard to imagine what a young woman may be experiencing in the public spotlight after her husband, Charlie Kirk, was brutally assassinated.
As a widow I share a couple things in common with her.
The swift and unexpected sudden death of your spouse,and being a widow.
I’ve seen some disparaging remarks with strangers weighing in on what her grief looks like. As if she’s doing it in a right or wrong way, if she’s crying or not crying or even smiling. She has been bold in her public display of grief reminding everyone of the ugliness of his death and I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same in her position.
Look at what hate did. Look. At. It.
Then there are all of the unsolicited, unwanted opinions while you are reeling from your loss. All while you attempt to make decisions, and take care of life that is still moving forward at an unrelenting, uncaring pace.
Let me just say, as a Christian woman I know that God gives supernatural strength to stand, to interact with people, to engage, and do what is necessary.
Although not in the public spotlight, I stood and I spoke at my husband’s service and led my family through those dark days. The strength I had and still have, isn’t my own.
Mrs Kirks strength comes from God as she navigates so much while still in shock and I cheer for her knowing in a small way, the weight of this unwanted role, a role you didn’t ask for and didn’t want, all while trying to survive.
Opinions abound when you are widowed.
I know in the months ahead people will still come in with their own opinions on what they “think” she should do or not do or if it looks like she’s grieving and sad enough ( whatever that looks like)
The bottom line though? No one is walking in your shoes. No one understands exactly what you are going through, the daily pain you carry, the agonizing nights, brain fog and mental exhaustion, the unexpected memories that tank you, the survival mode you are thrust into…
The list goes on.
You don’t ask for this new title of widow ( or widower) there is no book to tell you how to navigate every single day you wake up to them being gone, managing a life without them.
You just take in the day and you just do what is necessary to survive.
And I have survived. I’ve lived. I’ve not given up or allowed my grief to keep me down.
I had a word for myself for 2024 and it was “thrive”. Even in my grief and loss I was determined to live, to thrive, to move forward. My husband expected me to keep living even in my pain and I did.
Just note though dear reader, if you’re in this place, not everyone will cheer your courage to live, and to live out loud.
It makes them uncomfortable.
They will have their thoughts and opinions on how you live. Just drown out the white noise, focus on your grief and your healing and keep moving forward.
You may not have signed up for the widowhood club but you can weep and grieve all while moving forward and taking hold of the life you still have left to live.
In my most recent post with you I shared that I had lost my husband in 2023 after a valiant battle with cancer. Losing a spouse will massively derail you in life unless you stand up and really fight back to live, and I mean fight.
Among things derailed,my ability to have the energy or mental clarity to write. Yet writing in my journal these past few years has also been cathartic to release a lot of what I dealt with day to day. It has freed me in so many ways and now, looking back, I can see how far I have come in this journey.
At two years out I think, or maybe I’m wrong, there’s an assumption it’s time to move on and quit talking about it. Especially when your life appears to be going well.
The reality is, he lived, he mattered, he was our person. Talking about him keeps him alive and remembered. Remembering involves tears and laughter. It has moments that are painstakingly, bittersweet, that can almost crush my heart.
And as I shared in my recent post, I’m setting out to write and unpack my suitcase of lessons learned, life still lived, and maybe, some hopeful encouragement to someone reading.
Today I’m examining a thought that may not be known until you walk this road. There is this overall awareness that when your spouse dies is when your grief actually begins.
No one really talks about the grief that sets in years and months before they are actually gone from you. This is especially true if your partner has a disease that they are battling.
The loss comes in all kinds of ways. The worst is the subtleness of how it slowly changes the relationship you had prior to the disease.
The healthy relationship, not the one where a disease begins to set up camp and starts to slowly steal and rob even the most common and ordinary things you share together.
It starts small but gradually things move to you being a protector, you begin to handle more in the relationship, you are more watchful to their needs as they do a little less, and eventually, a lot less. The activities you used to do together become minimal versions or eventually, disappear.
You are aware of their energy level and how it has declined so you step in to do more. Slowly, your relationship changes to a new look.
A new look that neither of you want.
And you grieve.
You cry in the shower or in the car when you take a moment out because the agony of what you’re losing is constantly in front of you and you are helpless to stop it.
An unrelenting reminder that not only are you losing your relationship, you’re slowly, painfully losing them day by day.
And you grieve.
As we moved through increasingly more doctor appointments, tests, scans, and 4.5 hour drives to MD Anderson there was always the new anxiety riding along of what those tests would reveal and how that would further take us down this path.
I took over driving us everywhere ( a job he did not give up lightly or easily) yet another thing in this new angle of our relationship.
On those long trips back home we had lots of hard conversations. Real ones that no one wants to have. As hard as they were, I’m glad we had them.
Sometimes those drives back were at night. He would fall asleep and I’d have nothing but dark highway in front of me for hours, scared, tired, and alone with my thoughts, the tears would come for what I was losing and what we had already lost.
The grief was real and painful long before God called him home.
So when it happens and they are now gone, you aren’t just grieving from that moment of loss, but you are also grieving all of the years,months and days that have gone by while you knew you were losing them.
I had days where all of it, every day in those past years he battled that awful disease, along with him being gone, culminated into agony I can’t describe.
The reality is, no one sees this. They don’t see the intimacy of it or the day to day struggles leading towards your ultimate loss.
They don’t see the grief you already carry.
I hope if you’ve ever had to walk this out that you know I get it, I understand. I hope you know that your grief before your actual loss is valid, I see you.
Take time to honor it all on your journey as you heal and move forward.
In the words of an old song by Staind, “it’s been awhile.” Raise your hands kids if you’re one of my 1.5 readers and are still hanging around here.
I started this blog, hard to believe, 10 years ago. It was with the intent to offer sound and practical diet and nutrition ideas in a world bombarded with nonsense in that arena. May I say, the nonsense still abounds. I won’t get started today on the newest hypes with the diet drugs being pushed or the quick fix instant gratification schemes.
Other aspects of wellness include mental, spiritual and emotional health as well to which I hope to branch out into.
You see, in my absence I’ve had a lot of life to live, pain to bear, and deep grief to carry. I’ve navigated much in these past couple years with the loss of my husband, a man I spent over 40 years of my life with.
Grief and loss. It will visit us all in this lifetime and it’s never easy.
I will say as I’ve been on this journey, I’ve learned, grown, cried, pushed forward, cried again, had days where I couldn’t get off the sofa, asked the hard questions, prayed and journaled my thoughts and pain onto paper. I’ve not run from my grief but have allowed it to do what is necessary for me to keep moving forward.
In these two years since his loss I’ve lived a surreal, whirlwind life and I’ve embraced it all.
In this learning and growing, I’ve packed a lot into my life suitcase I carry. Much like the old box we may keep in our closet with pictures, mementos, and other scraps of our life we plan to assemble into a tidy book.
A reflection of our travels if you will, that is how I feel in this journey I’ve been on.
I want to share and unpack what I’ve learned, how I’ve grown, and the faithfulness of God to see me through some of my darkest days.
I feel confident I’m not alone in this journey and you my readers, or others, may be out there at a loss for words or unsure how to unpack this suitcase of life’s souvenirs.
My blog offers the perfect background to unpack my thoughts. As life goes on people assume you kinda get over things and move on.
You never get over it and I haven’t “moved on”, but I have “moved forward”.
There’s a difference.
Even in my grief, I’ve held onto life, to living and savoring every single day I’ve been blessed with.
I hope you will come along with me on this journey as I unpack my suitcase of lessons learned, thoughts gathered, and life lived.
I hope you will pull up a chair, maybe wiping your own tears as you do, and find that you aren’t on this journey alone.
On todays post boys and girls I thought we would talk about some diet myths.
The diet industry rakes in billions of dollars a year. From what’s sold in grocery stores to what your neighbor is pedaling, it’s all aimed at a specific need…..
Over weight people looking for the secret sauce to lose weight.
Diet culture perpetuates so many harmful myths that can lead to disordered eating and an unhealthy relationship with your body and food.
The diet industry pushes so many ideas that people feed on ( pun intended, sorry 😉) I thought we would take a look at some of these myths.
The reality is, weight loss is science. Every person needs a certain amount of calories to live. They need a certain amount if they are more active or less if they’re not. Whatever your caloric need, if you reduce them, you will most likely lose weight.
You don’t need cleanses or detoxes
Have mercy. When I see ads for this, or posts of people asking about them or the “best” ones to do, or worse, selling them, my eyes just wanna roll outta my head.
Just say no.
Our bodies are amazingly made. They have an incredible detox system called the liver and kidneys. They do a spectacular job from the day you’re born til the day you die. Putting your body through a “cleanse” will probably make you miserable, lighten your bank account and have no long term sustainability to it. Doing a cleanse doesn’t kick start your weight loss or make you “healthier “. Yeah you may drop some water weight ( big deal) but it won’t contribute to real weight loss. Run from anyone who tries to tell you otherwise.
You need to eat a lot less
Actually, no. Sometimes people are so restrictive with their food they lose slowly or hardly at all. Really, you probably need more calories than you realize to sustain daily living and lose weight. Eating to little can hinder weight loss. Wanting to gain more muscle? Then you really need to eat and know exactly how many macros you need in your day.
You have to skip meals
Really you shouldn’t skip meals. And a meal doesn’t have to be something “big” it just needs to be something small and healthy. Eating regular meals keeps your blood sugar levels steady, keeps hunger at bay and hopefully keeps you from devouring your “real” meal because you’re so hungry.
Eat real food
1200 calories are for everyone
Um….no they’re not. That is such a low calorie diet that you are guaranteed to be hungry. Not to mention, no one will fit into a standard cookie cutter diet. Our needs are all different.
For instance when I would be in the heaviest part of marathon training my calories were obviously quite a bit higher than days I wasn’t training. The same applies to you. Every day could be different depending on your activity level. Find an accurate BMR ( basal metabolic rate) calculator. This will help you determine your personal caloric needs based on your lifestyle. Use this as a guide for food intake. You can adjust to maintain, or reduced by 10% to help with weight loss.
You have to exercise to lose weight
Oh yeah, the diet world will tell you in fact, the more, the better. Feel the burn and all that right? Exercise off last nights dinner or the dessert you had.
Here’s the reality. Exercise is great. It’s wonderful for your body and mind. It makes you feel good. It can help with weight loss. But really, it’s what you put in, or don’t put in your mouth that largely contributes to it. If your diet is awful weight loss will be a struggle. You need to start with your nutrition for successful weight lost. And please remember, you can’t “work off” food you’ve eaten.
Start your day right
You have to cut out food groups
Please don’t. Unless you have a need to do so, for your health, your body benefits from nutrients found in all food groups. There are no “bad” food groups so stay away from programs that demonize them.
Sugar is evil
Listen let’s be honest. Sugar isn’t bad, a drug or some horrible toxin. You know where the problem is for some people? Their personal control issues with it. Understanding the “why” of their excessive consumption is the first step to dealing with it.
Healthy foods are more expensive
Not really. You can buy lean meats and lots of fruits and veggies for reasonable prices. Learn to shop seasonable items and stock up on sales. Frozen or canned are good options too. Buying less healthy foods or foods that don’t offer as many nutrients are just as pricey.
Slimming pills and teas
No. These things promise unrealistic goals and in reality will only leave you hungry, frustrated and giving up. Not only that pills can have adverse effects on your heart and metabolic system. And please stay away from programs that have you spending tons of money on all of their pills and supplements and eating very little food.
No snacks or treats
We’ve all either been that person or seen them at a meal or party. They are “dieting ” and have restricted all fun things. They do not allow themselves anything enjoyable on their quest to lose a few pounds. The sad part is, this isn’t sustainable as we want to enjoy life and food is a part of that. Instead what works is eating a normal balanced diet and enjoying a reasonable treat. It won’t sabotage your weight loss effort. Allowing favorite foods can help you reach your goals.
Allowing favorite treats should be part of a healthy food plan
Carbs are bad for you
No, they aren’t. But you need to understand there are two types of carbs.
Complex carbs are good and essential for energy and mental clarity. They are found in whole grains, fruits and vegetables, beans and legumes etc
Simple carbs are what you need to limit in your daily diet. These are found in things like cookies, crackers, chips, sodas, baked goods, sugary drinks, fast foods and more.
Build your daily nutrition around healthy complex carbs to help with weight loss, energy and mental clarity.
You have to be hungry to lose weight
Hunger is a natural body signal so we know when we should eat. Feeding our body is the only appropriate response. Withholding food, or restricting what you eat is disordered thinking and not good for your body.
In conclusion
As you can see, diet myths aren’t an exhaustive list. To be successful it helps to:
Start small. Don’t attempt it all at once.
Find good foods you love, that satisfy you, and build on that.
Remember there are no “quick fixes ” weight loss is a slow and steady in reverse process.
Do exercise you enjoy that makes you feel good and do it several times a week.
Be patient with yourself. Love yourself. Celebrate big victories and small ones. Look for “nonscale” wins like more energy, inches lost, lifting heavier weights, or just feeling better about yourself.
With some common sense, daily discipline and smart choices you will hit your goals while you dodge the myths.
Today’s Monday Musings is brought to you, courtesy of, my birthday.
Yep, another spin around the sun and the opportunity for another year of doing this thing called life. At the risk of sounding cliche, I’m beyond grateful and thankful for it.
Hello another year #50ish
The good, the bad, the messy and joyful. The mundane and extraordinary. I try to live in those daily moments and simply appreciate them for what they are.
Some days, honestly, that can be hard.
Other days it’s blissfully easy.
All of it rolled together are moments that have built and shaped me into who I am. My strengths and weaknesses forging a stronger, wiser and more determined woman.
Reflection
Every year I allow time to look back and reflect where I am, and who I am. How I’ve grown and what I’ve learned. Goals I’ve set and accomplished. In it there is always that mix of success and struggles.
And you know what? That’s really ok. Struggles lead to success and success always makes me want to strive for more.
On a business level, I’ve achieved new things this year I hadn’t even calculated last year. There are risks and payoffs. They go hand in hand. I’m pretty happy with the forward movement of it all.
Do I want more? To build and accomplish more? You bet I do. I’m grateful for skills and talents I’ve been given that I work daily cultivating. I’ve learned to just let my creativity out and when I do there’s total satisfaction in what comes from it.
On a personal level, I had a total knee replacement last year. 😬
Yep, a super sonic titanium knee.
How it started…2 weeks post opWhere it’s at a year out 😊
And you know what? It’s awesome and I do not regret having it done. ( you can check out an entire post on it here on my blog)
I love when people have said “oh you’re so young to have that done!” 😂 yeah well, I don’t dig pain, so a new knee it is.
One of the cool things about getting older….stuff breaks. I’m really joking. I’m super appreciative of being strong and rather sturdy….my knee just had other ideas.
And honestly, I am grateful for my health. Eating well and attempting some exercise most days of the week has been my goal to maintain a healthy body… and mind. Never underestimate how exercise can help your mental well being.
Still working on those girl muscles….into my 50s.
Being comfortable in my skin
I guess for the most part, I always have been. I think age helps nail it down more, ya know, the ability to just embrace who I am. I am authentic and my heart is genuine. I can be sassy, sarcastic and have a quick wit. I also know how to stand up for myself and can speak my mind when needed…..not rude….I just know how to use my voice.
I feel people, their joy and pain and can read them more than the words they speak, or don’t speak. Being empathetic can sometimes feel painful. My mom would refer to it as wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Somehow, that has deepened with age.
Another part of growing is knowing you might not be everyone’s cup of tea but it’s also knowing you’re the most refreshing drink for others. And those…. those are the ones I focus on. They make me laugh, bring me joy, and challenge and support me.
I also think in a world full of more chaos that allowing love, grace and mercy to be something that I freely bestow on not just those I know, but the people I don’t know, people like myself just trying to get through this thing called life. The world seems to be in desperate need of love and grace and I want to be someone who gives that out.
The celebration
My family celebrated me last night with a wonderful meal hosted at my sons house. My daughter in law prepared a feast and made my favorite cake. My mom used to make me a homemade German chocolate ones…they were amazing. She passed away in 2014 and my family in the years after have made cakes for me…my husband, daughter or daughter in law.
My daughter in law has taken it on herself to make sure I get a homemade german chocolate cake the past few years and it is something that touches me deeply. Birthdays are still hard…I miss my mom. But I am so blessed to have people who love me so well.
I mean…..look at that cake ! 😍Trust me, it was amazing.Thank goodness there were a modest amount of candles 😅My heart ❤A perfect meal
Moving ahead
I know people often get caught up in the past or focused on things that don’t serve them anymore. Every year brings a new season. I look forward to new growth, staying open to fresh ideas and simply appreciating where I am…..at this stage of life. There is still much to learn, new goals to set and achieve and so many opportunities in front of me.
I realized this past Friday, April 15th, marked one year since I had a total knee replacement (TKR). The weekend was kinda busy and whatnot….hello Easter…..so I thought I’d take some time now to reflect on my journey this past year. This may be more of a “story” than a blog post. My hope is that maybe my journey may help or encourage someone facing this surgery.
How did I get to the point of TKR?
A good question. I was in the final weeks of training for a duathlon in 2018. As I was in the last few miles of a training run my knee started bothering me. Of course my thought was “nooooo nothing better get in my way for the race “. It settled down and weeks later, I did my second duathlon coming in again first in my age group. That didn’t impress me as much as seeing my finish time against some of the 20something guys. That was satisfying 😜
The finish line of a race listed as the toughest in Texas. A 5k hilly run, 16 miles of nothing but lots of big hills on the bike, and then a 2 mile run. The photo doesn’t show how cold and sweaty I am or reflect a quad and hip that cramped up coming in on the bike ride as I finish the final run. That finish line never felt sweeter.
I wish I knew it was potentially my last duathlon or I would’ve savored every aspect of it more.
The final piece after months of training, standing on that podium.
As things go, after I finished a race, I dialed back my training for a few weeks. On my first run back out ( weeks later) I felt almost crippled afterwards. I cut out running and focused on cycling but my knee continued to bother me. I finally gave in and headed to my sports doctor ( ahem…. months later) fully expecting to hear I had torn something and would need surgery. After the x ray he came back in and announced, ” you’ve got a good old fashioned case of arthritis going on” this was certainly not what I expected to hear.
He said listen “You’re out there kicking ass and taking names. You are certainly not my usual middle age woman patient. Between life, genetics, and all you’ve been doing, that’s what we’re dealing with. ” We discussed some options, one of which was eventually getting a shot in my knee that could help.
Essentially a band aid, a costly one, only prolonging the inevitable, knee replacement surgery.
I left his office and pretty much dealt with it over the next couple years. The pain in my knee got progressively worse as it was bone on bone. I did go in for the set of two shots ( 600.00 my part with insurance) in the summer of 2020. Unfortunately, I never noticed any change. He told me “ok we’ve tried all the options and the next step is total knee replacement”
Yeah ok…obviously I wasn’t super excited at this prospect. I had never had any surgeries and this one sounded a bit, intense, to put it mildly.
He handed me a referral for an ortho dr, one he assured me, would be focused on getting me back at my athletic endeavors and sent me off.
The next few months involved meeting with the doctor, getting an MRI, another appointment with the surgeon and then finally at that January visit we scheduled the surgery for April 15.
Gosh. I tried several times to work myself out of it as it got closer. But on the other hand I had a knee that hurt enough to keep me awake at night so I was kinda hoping to ditch that problem, among others.
As it got closer there were the usual pre surgical things to do, like labs, a chest x ray and meeting with the surgical nurse who went over all the details for before, during and after surgery.
Over and over I heard “you’ve picked a rough first surgery but you’ll get through it”
Eek.
I requested to be his first surgery. It was out patient and I would go home that day so I figured being first in meant I’d get out sooner.
My surgery would also be robotic assisted surgery which is super high tech. It allows the surgeon to operate and make cuts and incisions with exact precise cuts in the bone and tissue. This is done in real time with a computer and a very recent CT of my knee. You can learn more reading about Mako Robotic Knee surgery.
Show time
This is what it looks like when your surgeon signs off on your knee 😅 that big line? The slice and dice line.
I arrived at 5 a.m. trying to act cool but I had to laugh when the nurse asked if I ever had anxiety….I was like…. I mean right now, kinda yeah….she assured me they expected that and not to worry.
Whew! I was normal! 😅
All the final things were done, the surgeon last to appear asking if I was ready for the show. I asked him if he had enough of whatever he needed to be on his A game. He assured me he was good and he was ready to fix my knee up, and then it was off to the OR.
Listen, as I mentioned earlier, this was my first surgery so I was really calculating everything that was going on. I was struck by how bright the OR was, how alert, busy and full on active everyone was greeting me. I asked them if they wanted me to hop over to the other table, and after I got settled a mask was immediately placed over my nose and mouth that felt a little to snug. The guy lifted to adjust it and said ” we’re just giving you some pure oxygen “
And that my friends, was it till I heard two girls talking close to me saying what pretty pink hair I had ( which I did) and did I want a cracker?
Say what?
Me…. mumbling….are we done?! They assured me we were and if I woke up I could have a cracker. In my head, I was giggling thinking how you offer parrots crackers… 🤣 in reality I was trying to peel my eyes open.
Seriously. Y’all that sleep after surgery is the bomb. I was so cozy. I was hearing the convo in room, the nurses talking to my husband, how things went etc but gosh, I was sooooo good where I was at….like my eyes just didn’t want to be open. I got prompted again…. whyyy are they making me talk??
After accepting ( rather blindly) the crackers and Sprite given to me, I was asked if I wanted to get up and walk.
Me….you know I’m still asleep right? And my leg feels like….nothing…..
Them…. you get to go home if you walk. Ah yes, I remembered now. I got to head home if I did the “required things”.
Eat. Go to bathroom. Walk.
I got up on edge of bed, grabbed the walker and hustled myself out to the hallway when they called me back. One thing my surgeon does is to make sure his patients have a nerve block ” we want you to wake up comfortable”. I thought of it as an epidural in my knee. I had a full leg brace on immobilizing my leg. My foot felt like a thick foam block. Think how your face feels after a dentist visit and novocain.
With a numb leg, a foggy head ( those are good drugs) and zero pain, I crawled into the athletic clothes I had worn. My surgery had been at 7 a.m. and by 1 p.m. I was loaded up heading home 😳
Ya know what’s really trippy? Being in a car sailing down the highway while you’re still looped out from anesthesia.
I kept my eyes closed the ride home ’cause the world was really spinny.
Home and recovery
This was how my leg was neatly packaged after surgery. Thankfully that came off next day. This was to protect my leg till all the meds had worn off and I could feel again
My surgeon ordered PT ( physical therapy) for 2 weeks at home that started the day after I got home. I was ready to work and do what was needed to get back to doing life. I faithfully did exercises they left for me making them my “job”. I did them 3 times a day and walked as much as I could. I made my leg bend and flex just like I would have before surgery.
More nice packaging This is where the satellite went.
A look inside at my fancy new joints the top gadget is a satellite that communicates with computer that didn’t stay 😜My surgeon grabbed his handy fake joint model to show me what mine looked like, except as he said, yours is metal, this is plastic The silver and gray parts are the new joints
Days after….
It was so amazing to have that awful pain gone in my knee that walking felt great even if I had major surgery two days prior. By day 3 I tossed the walker cause I was walking fine without it and my PT guy said it was more of a hazard to use it if I was walking ok.
Physically, I hadn’t been sure what to expect but I had minimal swelling and no bruising. Of course I lived with my ice pack so I’m sure that helped quite a bit. My PT guy was encouraging telling me I was far ahead of what they expected patients to do a few days out so that built my confidence. And not to mention I was horribly motivated to make things happen. I had goals.
This gadget was a nice lazy form of exercise 😅 you set machine and it bends your leg for you. I’d get it set and take a nap.
Pain
Ok I’m almost embarrassed to say this but I really had minimal pain, and at that I didn’t consider it bad. One thing I paid attention to were all the people who told me to be diligent about staying on track with my pain meds. I’m stubborn but not dumb and certainly wasn’t interested in hurting if it could be avoided. I took them every 6 hours as prescribed even setting a 4 a.m. alarm to stay on track. My goal was to get off of them as soon as possible. Within the week I started spacing them out farther testing it. Gradually I was down to just a night one ( cause I like my sleep 😅) listen to what they tell you about pain meds!
2 weeks post op
2 weeks out I checked in with surgeon and had bandage removed. His stitching skills were impressive
It honestly didn’t look as bad as I was expecting. As you can see there was minimal after surgery bleeding.
After assessing all of my bending and flexing he cleared me to drive since I wasn’t on the pain meds.
Freedom! My first drive out, 16 days post op. This is when I realized how much you really use your leg to drive! A short trip, my leg was tired.
Another thing we discussed was exercise. He knew my goals were to get back on road cycling and at least walking again. I told him I wanted to do a bike race that was 10 weeks post op. What did he think? He said let’s do it! All he asked was that I ride not clipped in so if I had to get off bike fast I wouldn’t wrench my knee.
2 1/2 weeks out on my first walk….a half mile. It was a startThe road under my feet again
Of course, I focused a lot on my upper body since I could work that how I wanted
Nothing like some metal on my hand
Meanwhile
The leg is healing up well. The stitching will flatten out hopefully leaving a slim scar
As my leg healed I had moved over to 6 weeks of PT at a place in town. As my therapist told me a lot I wasn’t their “normal” patient. Being fairly strong and fit going into this surgery had definitely given me an advantage. Since I exercised before surgery the moves were work but doable work. He would put me on bike at the end of our sessions.
My first time on was my first slap in the face with my surgery.
I couldn’t do a full spin rotation.
How could this be? Riding a bike was well, riding a bike. I gingerly tried to press forward when my foot slipped causing it to go farther than planned.
That was the first genuine pain I had felt. I saw stars. Not cool.
I was in tears, literally crying thankful my back was to the room so no one would see a grown woman crying.
I felt all my goals shifting. How could I do a race in 7 weeks if I couldn’t pedal fully? I was crushed when I left PT that day.
I came home and started reading and there was a suggestion of pedaling backwards first. Then gradually ease into going forward. Next time I went I tried that. And I did it the following time…each time pressing into it a bit more…..then finally a full spin. I held my breath easing into another round and another. Tears came again this time but they were of joy. It was all I could do not to whoop out loud 😅
As I kept practicing on the bike at PT and on my trainer at home, race day loomed closer and I was pressed deciding if I’d be ready to do a 18 mile race in a few weeks. Being on the bike I still hadn’t gotten any serious miles on me. I finally felt confident enough to hit the road, this was about 8 weeks post op. I did 9 miles for my first ride.
Unfortunately by the time I felt I could do the race, no matter what my speed, the race had sold out. I was a bit crushed and then decided I would simply do my own “race”. Really it was about me and my goals anyway, right? I determined I would get up the same day as race, leave out in the morning and do that 18 mile ride making it a celebration of my body and what it could do.
And I did it.
The morning was gorgeous and I had never felt more alive. Although riding not clipped in felt awkward, I managed to get it done. And not just 18 miles, but a little more with gravy on top 😉
It turned into a nearly 20 mile ride. 😊
My speed certainly wasn’t what I was used to but gosh it felt amazing.
Needless to say when I saw my surgeon a couple weeks later he immediately asked if I did it. Ha he was honestly like a proud parent.
Lots of activities after my knee surgery. Rowing was great for continuing bending and flexing. Those weights don’t hurt either.
Where am I now?
The knee healed up pretty nice…..and I really don’t mind my battle wound.
A tidy scar 🖤
I make jokes that I may be the old person who tells the weather by my knee 🤣 it does feel tighter when the weather changes. My surgeon said its the barometric pressure.
Other things: when I’m on my feet all day or it’s hot my leg can feel like it’s ” fuller” or tight. My bending, and straightening of my leg is as good as it was before surgery. I’m able to do things I could prior. My knee itself can still feel tight around the surgical area but my surgeon said it can be a solid year or longer for things to settle down. A small area is still numb. That may or may not go away. Being on my hands and knees is doable, but I have to position my weight right as it can be uncomfortable, like in the surgical area.
Strength wise I think my right leg is lots stronger now than my left. My legs are strong but I find myself doing a little extra with the left to make it keep up. I am always mindful that I can and should always be pushing my new knee a little more to continue to get the maximum from it.
Final thoughts
Since I had this surgery at least 6 people I know have had it. They have reached out and asked questions. I have answered based on my experience and journey but they will be different for all of us. Our experience will be based on many factors from our overall health, fitness, physical limitations and our mental determination (which I believe is the biggest factor for success) ask questions and make sure you educate yourself on all things associated with it. Oh yeah, and do everything you’re told, including managing your pain meds.
Tell me, have you had a TKR or are you seeing one in your future?
Hey kids! Happy Monday and the start of a new week. Honestly, with this past year, on any given day I’m thinking ” where are we in this week?!”
Please tell me I’m not alone in this….
I’d say Monday’s are for coffee but really, every day is for coffee.
We’ve been enjoying a milder than usual summer here in south Texas. When I say milder I mean we’ve not had any 100 degree days. And to make things even better we’ve had more rain than we ever see in a Texas summer. Like things are still green! And not crunching under your feet….amazing.
Oh it’s still hot enough and we’ve also got that wonderful humidity to go with it too.
Which makes morning workouts awesome
I had to forfeit my morning walk the other day when unexpected thunderstorms showed up. So I went to my plan b, heading into my own little gym in my garage. But gosh by the time I finished, I looked like I had been out in the rain. Serious sweat fest.
I opted to start with 20 minutes on the elliptical and followed up with 40 minutes strength training. I love mixing up my workouts. Sometimes I start and end with cardio and sandwich strength training in the middle.
My version of hitting the bar
I did get out for my power walk the next day. I’ve been increasing my miles and wanted to incorporate these huge hills into those miles. I planned to do a couple sets of them when I got down there, which I did.
When you take your heart rate from one extreme to the other. 😅
The large number on top is what I watch while I’m cooling down. The rate at which it drops back to normal gives me a good idea of my recovery heart rate. Minutes after I took this pic, it had dropped to the 70.
I think when people start an exercise program they aren’t really thinking about how it builds their heart and lungs, which are obviously muscles. Your recovery heart rate gives you a good idea of how your exercise is helping your heart
It is recommended to get a 150 minutes of cardio exercise a week. Are you getting yours?
Exercise goals
I believe everyone should have some kind of exercise goals. We all have a starting place from where we can begin working to build our strength and fitness. Recently, I personally found this so true and was so grateful to fall back on a foundation of strength and fitness.
Why you may ask?
Well kids, April 15th I had total knee replacement surgery. I fully plan to write a specific post on my experience with the process, my recovery, and how cool high tech surgery is now days. More than ever was I grateful for all the days I had spent training my body working out and building strength as I leaned into that while my other leg got back on track.
I won’t spend a lot of time on it in this post, yes I’m doing great. I will say I set a goal to do a 18 mile race on my bike, 10 weeks post op, and I did. 😉
Actually I did a little over 19 miles 😉
So that has been one of the um… more interesting….things I’ve been up to
Then there’s my vintage business
If you’ve followed me awhile, you know I have a business where I flip vintage furniture, among other things. That has grown quite a bit this past year and I’m grateful!
Not a bad transformation eh?
Just one of the many projects I’ve been working on. *** so…many.. projects… ****
Then there’s food
I do have fun exploring new recipes. I made this recently, it always goes over well.
I hope no matter how your day is going, that you will find the good in your day and be grateful. Grateful for the life you have and literally the next breath you take. I hope that you see the good in life and embrace it and you find joy in ordinary moments ❤
I recently did a random post on my Facebook page ( oh heck most of them are random) showing off my breakfast ( food pics,novel, I know)
I had come in from a longer bike ride, hungry, with food on my mind. Not just any food, I wanted avocado, fresh tomatoes and a piece of whole grain bread.
Good carbs…healthy fats….perfect.
As I bantered back and forth with comments from my post one of them said something about loving fruits and veggies for breakfast.
Ah! Rats. In my casual post I really didn’t get technical as to if these items were….fruits? Or vegetables? The comment was later indicated that he just enjoyed both at breakfast, not getting technical. Well by then my mind had already started crafting this post.
So….what are they?
Like many of you, I never deeply pondered what they are, I just enjoy them. But are tomatoes and avocados a fruit or veggie?
So delicious. But what are they?
Let’s talk about avocados
Not particularly beautiful, but very tasty…….
Avocados are one of the few fruits (yes, technically they’re a fruit, not a veggie) that contain healthy unsaturated fats. These fats help lower undesirable LDL cholesterol when eaten in place of saturated fat. The avocado is considered a fruit because they fit all of the botanical criteria for a berry. They have fleshy pulp and a seed.
Avocados ripen or “soften” after they have been harvested. To speed up the process, place the avocado in a paper bag with an apple or banana for two to three days. The fruit is ready to eat when the stem comes out easily (or, if the stem is gone, when the fruit yields slightly to gentle pressure).
Nutritional info: One serving (about one-third of a medium Haas avocado) provides about 80 calories and nearly 20 different nutrients, many of which are considered heart-healthy, including unsaturated fat, fiber, vitamin K, vitamin E, and potassium.
Now….. on to the tomatoes…
The botanical classification: Tomatoes are fruits.A botanical fruit would have at least one seed and grow from the flower of the plant. With this definition in mind, tomatoes are classified as fruit because they contain seeds and grow from the flower of the tomato.
But wait….there’s more
It’s also a vegetable because someone said it is.
Say what?!
Botanically it’s a fruit. Legally, it’s not. Legally it’s classified a vegetable.
And the origins of that discrepancy lie in a 19th-century Supreme Court case so obscure, many tomato experts aren’t even aware of it.
“Tomatoes have such an outlandish history,” said George Ball, the chief executive at the seed company Burpee. “Most people hear it and are bewildered for life.”
As Ball explains it, fruits and vegetables differ in one major botanical way. A fruit is technically the seed-bearing structure of a plant — and a vegetable can be virtually any part of the plant we eat.
At the time of the court case in question, Nix v. Hedden, fruits and vegetables differed in another big way, as well: Imported vegetables were slapped with a 10-percent tariff upon their arrival in the United States, and imported fruits were not.
When one Manhattan wholesaler — John Nix & Co., owned by John Nix and his four sons — got hit with the tariff on a shipment of Caribbean tomatoes, he disputed the tax on the grounds that tomatoes were not technically vegetables.
The case, filed in 1887, made its way to the Supreme Court in 1893. There, the court disagreed with the Nixes, ruling that people neither prepare nor eat tomatoes like fruits — and that they should be taxed accordingly.
“Botanically speaking, tomatoes are the fruit of a vine, just as are cucumbers, squashes, beans, and peas,” wrote Justice Horace Gray in his 1893 opinion. “But in the common language of the people, whether sellers or consumers of provisions, all these are vegetables.”
So there you go. The Supreme Court of the United States of America ruled them as a vegetable….long ago…..
Bet you learned something new, didn’t you?
About my breakfast….
Admit it….it looks delicious
I’ll leave you with a refreshing summer tomato salad to try.
A new week, new goals to crush, more coffee to drink.
One of the things I’m seeing tonight as I write this is one of my posts from 2 years ago is trending in the top two spots on Google search…..go. me.
Single Ingredient Diet
Yeah so that’s kinda nice. People wanna read me and I like to think I have positive words to offer up, along with a dose of sassy humor. 😉 you can check this post out later.
Speaking of humor…..
You may have seen the Target dress challenge on social media. Basically Target launched this line of dresses they were like, apparently serious about.
They look like left over Little House on the Prairie wardrobe pieces. Ankle length frocks, quite lovely.
Ugly? Yes.
Frumpy? Oh yes.
Man repellant? Most definitely.
Wearing these dresses makes you look like you’re ready for a long day on the farm preparing for a locust invasion.
But wait… I was eating at a local restaurant the other day and they have a gift shop with all kinds of goodies in it. Imagine my horror when I saw this…..is everyone getting on board with this??
😱😱😱
And the ones behind it weren’t much better…trust me.
When it comes to fashion like this, I’m always glad that I’m out here doing my own thing.
Oh yeah..my own thing. Wanna see?
Decided to start my new year with a fun flare. 🖤
Shades of pink, but most rose gold, I love the mix of it all and nicknamed it my Neapolitan hair.
The main factor is that I love it, but after that, the fact others like it is cool too.
A girl checking me in at my dr appt commented on it….
“Love your hair! Kudos to you for being so bold and doing it”
I thanked her, but here’s the deal.
It doesn’t take much for me to be bold and adventurous. But really, I love doing things that please me, and that is usually something outside the box.
Can I suggest that if you’ve pondered doing something, why not do it? What’s holding you back?
If this past year has taught me anything, live life, even if it is diving into rosegold hair.
Do what makes you happy and brings you joy.
Ever notice how life can randomly point things out to you? 😅
The truth of this hits deep
Teasing aside, I am thankful and grateful for every year I’ve lived, even if there are days that are harder or a body that wants to go rogue, I am thankful for the years I’ve lived.
In other news..
The month is almost over and there has been of course, the push for people wanting to get back to exercise and “get in shape”.
If you’re in that boat, you aren’t alone! I think during this past year so many have gotten out of a normal routine or have been sidetracked by the weird turns of life.
My simple suggestion to get back in the groove? Get out for 30 minutes.
Take 30 minutes to do something that moves you, that makes you feel alive and refreshed. Can’t do 30? Make it 20, but make it count.
If I’m short on time and decide to do 20 minutes on the rower or elliptical, I pedal down and go all out in those 20 minutes and believe me, it’s a solid workout that works me.
Life is hard. Exercise helps.
Food. Food helps too.
I thought I’d share a salad I made with you during the holidays. I used greek yogurt in place of the sour cream for a lighter healthy swap.
sassyfitnesschick 