Tag: motivation

Obstacles And Opportunities

overcoming obstacles

Have you ever noticed conversation is just better over coffee with a good friend? I had the opportunity recently to have coffee and conversation with one who is special to me and when we get together, well, our conversations last hours. We both have a passion for people and helping them be successful in fitness, health and wellness.  We compare notes and brainstorm ideas off of each other.

It’s a refreshing time to encourage one another in the callings we have.

At one point she told me how I was an encouragement to her. She knew I had been off running due to an injury and she also knew I had picked up other activities to keep me moving.

She was admiring the fact I hadn’t just quit  since I couldn’t run.

Honestly, at this point, I’m so used to some high level of activity it seems crazy to me to not have something to fall back on. Not to mention, I’d totally go crazy not doing anything.  I’m  used to having that physical movement in my life now.. it’s not only a habit, it’s an outlet, and a place that is just for me to go to.

And well… I don’t quit.

My friend had been dealing with an injury herself and was encouraged to try and find other outlets or activities she could pursue while she recovered.

I was thinking about our conversation later that day. Thinking how if I had become discouraged about not running and just did nothing, all I would’ve missed out on.

Before my injury, running was what I primarily did. Oh, I did structure in a few days strength training and I’d toss in an occasional day here and there on my little mountain bike to take the place of an easy run and to give my legs a break from running.

Running was my love. My passion. A place that made me feel strong and powerful.

I eventually started adding a little more cycling in to my routine, but again, nothing serious.

My injury made it a seamless move to more time on the bike. It gave me the mileage, time out on the road,  and being outdoors that I craved.  It filled that hunger in me.

Last year I “upgraded” to a cheap road bike from Walmart. I proceeded to ride the wheels off of it.  It was during this time I realized how much I was really enjoying this other sport, and not just as a supplement to my running.  I realized with the strength I had built running that I had the potential to be good at cycling.

Somehow the obstacles I had encountered actually brought about new opportunities for me.

Opportunities to experience new things, grow, and challenge myself to try things I hadn’t done before.

There’s a lot to learn about cycling! Therefore, I talk to those who are knowledgeable, I read, and most importantly, I’m just out there on my bike doing it.

I can hardly wait to find a race to challenge myself with.

Was my injury something I wanted? No. I can hardly wait to be out on the road really running again like I want to be.

Allowing myself to move in new directions has allowed me to grow more as an athlete, but also it lets me see that I can do anything I set my mind to.

But then I’ve kinda always approached obstacles in this way. I don’t let them stop me from where I’m going. I just look for ways to get around them to keep heading the direction I want to go.

Obstacles are limiting and I don’t want to be limited. Obstacles are simply new opportunities.

What about you? How do you view obstacles that come to you? Do you find ways to get over them to keep pressing on to your goals?

obstacle

Excuses Or Progress

hungry-excuses-graphic

I was in the cycling shop buying my shoes before I went to purchase my bike. Evidently finding cycling shoes for women in shops is …slim… and the odds get even slimmer when you you’re 6’0 tall and don’t have a small foot. What’s a girl to do ??? The visions of the hot pink and black ones I had seen online were rapidly vanishing from my mind… he presented me with a white pair that honestly, reminded me of nursing shoes.

The guy assisting me was super helpful patiently answering my questions and made a suggestion to try some neutral looking guy shoes all the while explaining it was just really hard to carry lots of styles in all sizes, especially larger ones where they might not sell them…. sigh.. ok…

He brought a few pair out and had me try them on. I did love one pair but the colors were neon yellow and black… and the fashion part girl of me… tells him.. “but my bike is red and black.. I really see it all clashing! haha”

He informed me that “I’d be highly visible on the road…” ok, well he had that right… I’d look like I worked for the road crew 😉

I finally settled on the red and black ones that I purchased. Yeah, ok, it looks all sharp with my bike, but I loved the style and fit too… so… that was a win.

While we  were doing all this he asked me what I was training for and what my goals were. I told him about my running history, my slow venture into the cycling world, my injury that forced me off running for awhile, and how that kept me on the road doing more cycling.

I told him I had a duathlon in my sights as something I really wanted to tackle ( A duathlon is a run, bike, run race if you don’t know)

He looked me over and said… “don’t discount doing a triathlon.”

I laughed and then I heard the same response come out of my mouth that I typically give when that topic comes up… “Yeah, well, I’ve thought of that, but I really kinda suck at swimming. I know I can train and be strong with the “run/cycle” thing. Not so sure about swimming part”

He looked at me again and said, “with your long arms and legs, you’d be strong and able to cover a lot of space in a single stroke. Don’t sell yourself short. Keep the tri idea in your mind. I think you’d be good at it.”

There it was. Again. I was making an excuse.

I’m a woman who has, for quite awhile now, not settled for excuses. Especially when it comes to pursuing fitness.

I’ve stomped down excuses that would keep me from working out, from pushing myself harder, from taking on new things, big things, that I would’ve never thought I’d do.

I’ve not let excuses stand in my way of doing something.

Yet…. I find myself offering up the excuse that I’m not that great at swimming so I probably won’t be doing a tri.

Excuse:  attempt to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offense); seek to defend or justify

It made me think again. Made me think about where I had come from.

8 years ago, I wasn’t a runner. Heck, I didn’t even want to do my 2 mile walk.

The idea of running a race was a far fetched and laughable idea to me. In fact, even after I had started running and a friend suggested I do a half marathon, I laughed and said “that’s what other people do!”

Yet, two months later, I quit making excuses, acknowledged I could do it and signed up.

I’ve made it my personal mission to slowly, steadily, remove excuses from taking on new things.

Half marathons, full marathons, a 50K… those things didn’t happen with me making excuses.

So… therein is my perplexity at allowing myself to hold on to an excuse that would keep me from something new, and holds me back from new hitting new goals.

“I suck at swimming”.

Ok, so I was always more about looking cute poolside, tanning, and swimming around a few casual laps to cool off over doing power laps.

That is definitely not the kind of swimming needed in a competitive sport like a triathlon.

May I be honest? I hate my face being totally in the water. I feel like a whale attempting to not beach itself. I feel awkward and out of my element.

Ah… is there a better breeding ground to stomp down excuses, learn something new, and prove to myself (again) that yes, I can do it ?

So that’s where I’m at. I don’t want an excuse to hold me back from a new experience. Oh, it will be baby steps. I’m not looking to accomplish this in the next few months. I’m going to be more purposeful in my swimming. I’m going to treat it as a new skill I’m wanting to improve on.  Maybe I’ll get a few lessons in to build my confidence.

I’m going to set it on the horizon as something I want to shoot for.

Then… when the time is right.. I’ll be ready to get my feet wet. Maybe a sprint tri to get the feel and rhythm of the whole entire event.

I will be competing against no one but myself, and the excuse I shot down.

I’ve realized I’ve worked to hard these past few years pushing through excuses to allow this one to stand in my way.

If there’s one thing that troubles me either talking with people or maybe working with them one on one or even a group, is when they use excuses to stand in their way of accomplishing what they need to do. Maybe because I’ve seen them before in my life it’s easier for me to call them out, to see and hear them clearly.   Excuses can hinder us from living into our full potential or growing ourselves in exhilarating ways we never thought possible.

Don’t let excuses stand in the way of what you’re pursuing. Excuses hinder our dreams and success.  You can do anything you set your mind to.

Have you been hindered before by excuses from doing something? How did you overcome them? Do you feel you are making an excuse now for not doing something?

 

The All Or Nothing Approach

all_or_nothing_logo_design_by_dannygdesigns-d527xic

So as I eagerly shared with you in my last post, I have jumped more into the world of cycling with the purchase of my first professional cycling bike ( I wanted to sleep with it after I brought it home. Put it outside?? haha)

In the week that I’ve had it we’ve been getting acquainted with one another. I have to take a little time to do that.

Being on a new bike is like buying a new car.

You simply have to spend some time with it to see how it responds, and how it handles under you. You learn how much you can push it and how fast you can stop when you do push it. You learn how fast you can go on curves 😉

Actually, I’m being good and haven’t really pushed the speed a lot yet.

There is also time for your body to adjust to the differences as well. Being on a bike that is sized and adjusted to my body, obviously positions me very differently from my other bike that I had adjusted as much as possible for my arms and legs.

Therefore, I’m feeling it in different ways after a ride. As much as I’ve wanted to take off and go ….for miles…. in this week I’ve kept the rides short… usually between 8-10 miles.  It gives me enough time to settle in and adjust but not so much that I’m uncomfortable later.

It’s hard mentally knowing what I can do, but keeping it in check to allow myself time to adapt to the changes with the new bike. If I jumped in and took off on my usual route which hits somewhere between 20-25 miles…. I might not be feeling so great the next day and left feeling like I wanted to do nothing because I hurt.

I cannot take an all or nothing approach to conditioning myself for new athletic adventures.

To continue strong  in my training means being practical to my approach in training if I want to make consistent progress.

Yet… so often when I’m talking with people about health and weight loss there is an “all or nothing” approach to it.

I must give up everything to be successful. No fun. Nothing good.  Lots of exercise.  Rice cakes and celery sticks, here I come.

OR

I will just eat whatever. Exercise doesn’t matter so much. I’m ok the way I am. I’ll get to it…someday… maybe… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it.

An all or nothing approach to weight loss and fitness never works either.

In fact, it’s designed to fail.

For instance, things that make me cringe. You’ve seen those “30 Day Challenges”?  You know, something like get up to 3,000 squats by the end of the month or a zillion pushups?

Ok, I might be slightly exaggerating but the effects would be the same.  If you crawled off the sofa and just started pushing your body hard with activities it wasn’t used to, well, most likely by day 2 you’re gonna be so sore you’ll be using that challenge chart to start a fire.

Maybe you just decide you’re going to go start running and try a few miles.. and you haven’t even done walking miles yet. It could be anything.

When you just throw yourself into it with no preparation, your body will let you know it’s not happy about it.

You had that crazy moment of going after it “all” approach… and now you are paying for it… which is when you decide the “nothing” approach is probably better.

What a vicious cycle!  No wonder so many give up frustrated and discouraged with the process and quit.

What if, you built a plan, that was gradual, consistent and sustainable?   A plan that allowed your body to adapt to the changes you were putting it through?

Much like I cannot just get up and run a marathon without months of training or do a really long ride on a brand new bike without some adjustment, you cannot just jump in to extremes and expect long term success.

Beginning with a few days a week, alternating days with low intensity exercise will allow your body to adapt and prevent extreme soreness with will sideline you. Each week you can add a little more to what you do.

Learning to slowly make daily dietary changes will keep you from feeling deprived and then later binging because you’ve restricted yourself so much.   A slow steady approach adding in new healthier choices, cutting back on not so healthy choices, learning to eat enough to satisfy your appetite, but not to much, as well as learning to eat when you’re truly hungry are all positive habits to building nutritional success.

Implementing these things gradually and consistently will take away the “all or nothing” approach, which will lead you to permanent and long term success.

Tell me… have you done that in your quest to lose weight or develop an exercise regime? Have you taken on an all or nothing approach? Did that work?

 

Sacrifice And Success

success and sacrifice

If there are things in life that I find enjoyable ( besides athletic adventures) is coffee and good conversation.

Topics and ideas can abound.  I love creative convos as much as I love the deep intellectual or just plain fun ones.

I love the opportunity to be challenged and encouraged by others. Because it’s others who often see things that I don’t, or see my capabilities when I feel weak or inadequate.

Thus went one conversation the other day with a friend. I have been following her new job interests and was asking her some questions about it. We talked about the timing and time frame of schooling and actually beginning to work the “real” job in a full time manner.

Her take was…. if you’re on the path to where you’re going…. you’ll get there. Basically, just keep doing things that are moving you to your goals/job/dream.

Interesting thought. She knows how much I enjoy being able to help, encourage, motivate and challenge people in the ways of health and fitness.

I shared with her some of my struggles in the process and how in wanting to help people there was one thing I couldn’t deliver, which was to do to the work for them.

Which led to an interesting discussion of the work that’s involved to get anywhere or accomplish anything, whether it’s getting a new job, a degree, losing weight or wanting to train for something.

There is a level of determination that has to be there to make changes, to accomplish new things, to be unwilling to stay where you are.  No one can place that determination in you, it has to be driven from the depths of who you are.

That determination will drive and lead us to success. It’s almost a birth process we have to go through to achieve what we’re after. If someone did it for us we’d miss out on so much of the journey that would shape us  for where we are going.

The journey could be hard. It could make us want to quit, throw in the towel, not push on, but it’s so rewarding when we reach our goals or dreams.

I mentioned that the reason I share and take progress photos is because people who are new to me, or don’t know me, often think I’ve lived in the fitness world and always look like I’ve looked.

When I pull out photos that show me soft and “fluffy” with no muscles that are visible compared to where I am now they can see a journey of progress. Of determination. Of an unwillingness to quit. Of constant, small, daily changes, building new habits and disciplines to get to where I am today.

She assured me this was important for people to see and understand… that they understood it had been a work for me to get where I was at… that it wasn’t something I had always done or simply been “blessed” with.

8 years.

I’ve set goals, hit them, redefined them, crushed them again and kept moving forward. As I’ve gotten stronger on my journey I’ve been able to do more which has led to bigger visions of what I’m capable of.

I think that’s pretty applicable to whatever you have your sights set on.  There has to be a constant assessing and redirecting to get to where you’re going.

But do you want it bad enough to really push for it ? Are you willing to invest the time and energy?

The word we both used  almost at the same time was this: sacrifice.

Anything worth having involves sacrifice. If you’re on a journey to lose weight or get more fit, it will involve a sacrifice of learning to adjust your eating, learning to train yourself to get up and exercise, learning how to make better choices in your lifestyle.

It isn’t easy. It can often feel hard and be daunting.

The road to success in life, whatever, it is, won’t be easy. And maybe in some ways it shouldn’t be.

We often learn so much about ourselves on the journey, through the struggles, through the disapointments and up’s and down’s of what we are pursuing.

We find our strength, we learn our weaknesses. If we’re stubborn and determined we persevere through it and keep our eyes on the prize.

No matter where you are, or what you seek, don’t give up or quit. Small steps towards your goal will ultimately get you to where you are going.

As our conversation wrapped up I was left with these thoughts in my head about achieving success and nailing goals.

Steps to Success….

  • A path. This is the “thing” you want to do.
  • The process. What does it take to get to your “thing”?
  • Determination. ( no excuses)
  • Focus. (single minded)
  • Sacrifice. (This is the biggest. It won’t be easy. You will have to be uncomfortable. Give up things. Make different choices)
  • Achieve goals. ( the sweetness of victory!)

What steps or process have you used to reach your goals ? When you reached your goal did you feel what you invested to get there was worth it?

 

 

Small Steps And New Habits

weeks of fitness

 

Habit:

a usual way of behaving : something that a person does often in a regular and repeated way.

Hello beautiful people!

Habits. If there’s one thing I’ve talked a lot about is habits. Overall it could safely be said our life is driven by habits… things we do in regular, predictable ways. We eat, shower, go to sleep at a set time and wake up most likely the same way.  You may have regular ways you get dressed and prepare for your day or how you take your coffee.

In a soothing way our habits can be a comfortable and normal part of our life.

We can also have negative habits in our lives that we want to get rid of. These obviously, vary individual but we would all likely agree that negative habits are best replaced by something more positive.

When it comes down to eating or exercise I frequently hear from people that these are things they “want to do” or “get better at doing”.

What they are essentially saying is they want to build some new positive habits into their life.

That… is often easier said than done.

Usually what happens is that the person decides it’s an all or nothing approach and dives right in.

Exercise? They take on to much to soon and hurt…so they quit determining it’s not worth it…it’s to hard.. they got to sweaty….they’re breathing hard with a pounding heart… don’t see any results.. (results take time and consistency people)
Food ? They immediately go on a drastic and restrictive eating plan that leaves them hungry, moody, and wanting to eat everything they now believe they are not “supposed ” to eat.  Ultimately, they just give in, hungry and feeling deprived  and go back to old ways determining it’s to hard and nothing is happening anyway.

New habits take time to build. They require a determination to take it one small step at a time and a desire to keep building on it each and every day.

It requires a tenaciousness to keep on even when we might not feel like we nailed it for that day to get up and keep moving forward.

You see small things we do will become habits. …which will lead to bigger things.

We just don’t view small things as mattering so much… we look for the big, grand, instant fix and it’s just not really like that in the context of health, fitness and an overall lifestyle change.

In that context, slow, small and steady win the long term race..

What if instead of drastically altering your diet you just started focusing on one thing you wanted to change?

Soda drinker? Maybe you want to try to replace one or two a day with water instead.

Fast food junkie who can’t pass a drive thru? why not plan and pack a few healthy things in your car if you just can’t make it home to get something to eat ( hint: you really won’t starve to death before you get home. I’ve applied this theory many times now 😉

Over eat at meals? learn to eat slower, take a little less, learn to really taste and savor what you are eating. Learn to stop when you are comfortably satisfied… and that might mean you leave food on your plate.

Sugar junkie? learn to be selective of the sweets you eat. Try to wean yourself a little at a time.

Not a big veggie or fruit eater? Work to add one or two new ones a week. In time try to increase your daily intake.

Exercise… if you’re moving from the couch to outside taking it easy in the beginning is your number one priority. You don’t want to get to enthusiastic and then hurt the next day so you can’t hardly move around.

The key is to find the thing you enjoy and gradually, skillfully work into it.  Your body requires time to adapt and adjust to the new demands being put on it.

Good news… your body is an amazing instrument that can adapt and change and get stronger! You just need to pace yourself accordingly to let your body do what it’s made to do.

Set small, realistic goals for yourself in the beginning. As you give yourself time to adjust to physical demands, you can then slowly add a little more to your exercise regime.

Be patient with yourself. Changes in your body do take time. Your cardiovascular strength as well as your muscular strength need consistent work but it will come.

I was in the store yesterday looking through magazines when the lady stocking them asked me what I was looking for. I told her I was after one called “Strong” but didn’t know if the new copy was out yet.

She looked at my bare arms and said… “well, you look really strong!”

And now days, I guess I do, but that has been a slow and steady process. I wanted to tell her several years ago my arms were just…arms… with no visible muscles at all. No definition, no cuts, no nothing. Just chubby looking, undefined arms.

I didn’t get “strong” over night.

You know what it was? Small things I did that led to regular habits in my life. Habits of exercise and eating better. Habits of moving my body longer and farther. Habits of learning to lift heavier things not just to get muscles, but to kick butt in daily life.

Those small things lead ultimately to bigger changes in me.

Weight loss. Better lab numbers. Smaller clothes. More energy. Better mental clarity. Confidence and empowerment. Better nutrition. Healthy looking body.

None of it happened overnight. All of it was built on the simple truth that I just did consistent small things that lead to new positive habits.

Do I have bad days? you bet I do. Have I learned by now that I just need to keep on with small steps, always moving forward? Absolutely.

So, my suggestion for you, if you’re wanting to make changes, to get into a healthy lifestyle.. one that’s permanent…

Focus on small changes at a time. It will be more lasting, easier to accomplish and not leave you feeling deprived, exhausted, starving or wanting to throw in the towel.

And remember, it’s not instant gratification, you’re in it for life. Be patient  and don’t give up on yourself.

Have you struggled getting started on a healthy lifestyle path? What has hindered you? Do you think the idea of small things to build new positive habits is something you can easily do or is more attainable?

process

 

Those Voices In My Head

I was only a few miles into my ride yesterday morning when they started.

The voices.

Not the “I’m crazy and hear voices” kinda voices… although…. I am crazy… but in that good kinda crazy way…anyway… I digress….

I left knowing the weather was less than impressive. Foggy, wet, drizzling, soupy… overall kinda just yucky.

The kind of weather sane people stay inside  and OUT of.

bike weather

My thought was… “oh, it’s gonna be clearing out soon” but that thought was leaving me as I watched water dripping off my helmet and I had to repeatedly pull of my glasses to clean them ( yes, even on dark and wet mornings glasses are essential on a bike)

rainy cycling

The voices started talking…. suggesting things like…

“So this weather isn’t so nice, you can just do a short ride and head home”

“Do you really feel like riding so far out ? All those hills you know? in this weather ?”

“Do you really have the time to ride so far this morning?”

“Knocking a few miles off won’t really matter… really… it won’t”

The annoying chatter continued.

I started considering some of the things rolling through my head. I guess it wouldn’t matter if I cut my ride short… would it ?  And yeah, the weather wasn’t so impressive…

I began to mentally push those thoughts away, slowly and deliberately.

You see, I have had some experience with those “voices” as my athletic adventures have unfolded these past couple years.

Those voices offer excuses. They offer an easier way out. They try and convince you that you don’t have what it takes. They tell you that you aren’t strong enough, fast enough, young enough… whatever….They try and keep you happily in your comfort zone.

Our comfort zone is where we stagnate and die.

I first heavily encountered “the voices” during my first marathon in 2013. It was the end of November and a ridiculously hot 89 degree day. Running was brutal under the solid blue sky and unending sun. By mile 21 I was praying for deliverance. … but I am to stupid, crazy, stubborn to ever give in.

The voices started reminding me that the cool down buses were “right there” where I was running. I could go in and cool off for a little and then continue the race. It would be so easy.. just stop for a few minutes. After all, I had been working so hard. 21 miles was a long way, and even longer when the heat was so unbearable.

I passed one, and kept moving. The next one, the pull was stronger. The call louder. I did feel weak… weak against the temptation of what was offered and physically… I was getting depleted on almost every level and it seemed so  easy to give in to it.

But I knew better. I knew physically if I just stopped what my muscles would do. I knew how hard it would be to start again and go back out into the heat and finish those last 5.2 miles. I knew how I’d be so displeased with myself when my time suffered ( I’m so competitive with myself)

I stomped the voices down. I refocused on my goals. I dug deeper in myself beyond what I thought I had in me to finish that race. And I did… it was the sweetest feeling ever crossing that finish line physically, emotionally, and mentally spent. It was one of the most victorious moments of my life.

Marathon 2013 -2
Exhausted, yet feeling over the top victorious, after a brutally hot first marathon.

 

 

 

 

You know what I gained that day? Strength. Strength in knowing that I could overcome and prevail and I had more in me than I understood at that point. I learned that there would be times those voices would rise up to convince me I couldn’t do something or didn’t have it in me and that I had to fight right back against them.

Oh, there have been many other times since then. But now I know what they’re about…those voices are from the weakest part of me… to a great degree I’ve learned to tame them, stomp them down, and press on.

So back to the bike ride…. yeah… you know now what happened. I reminded myself that if I quit, how disappointed I’d be that I had given up.  I thought of how I was not only getting physically stronger, but mentally too. That if I was to get to my goals of doing a bike race it would take hard training and training in not so ideal weather. I reminded myself that I would run in weather like I had that morning, cycling wasn’t so different ( ok yeah maybe I shouldn’t take those curves and stuff as fast 😉

The more I pedaled, water dripping off me in the foggy morning, the more determined I got and the quieter the voices became.

I finished up my full ride of about 20 miles… and it felt pretty darn good on more levels than one…. and by the time I was done… I had dried out 😉

A reminder, perhaps to you. When you feel like giving up and quitting, don’t. Your biggest competitor is within you…. that is who you work against every single time.

When the voices rise up against you ( and I know… some of you will totally get this) push back, work hard, and don’t give in to them.

There’s a new, stronger you, waiting to emerge.

 

The Beauty Of Empowerment

Empowerment-Zone-Ahead-600x449

 

I’ve always loved words. I was a book worm as a kid and still enjoy getting lost in a good book. Today reading isn’t just in conventional book form but often takes place on my phone when I’m out on the go too.

There is always something to read that can entertain, inspire, teach, or simply amuse me.

It’s not a huge surprise then that there have been words along the way that I have attached to myself like invisible sticky notes that are “life” words to me. Words that have a depth and meaning to how I live, or to remind me of who I am, or what I’m about.

One word was strength. In fact, it became so full of meaning to me that I made my first commitment to a tattoo when I had it put on my body.

Not just physical strength, but mental, spiritual, and emotional. Life has forged a strength in me and it has become one of “my” words.

The other, last year, courage. It became the beautiful focus of my second tattoo. To live life takes courage. To go through trials, difficulties and pain, takes courage.

Another word that resonates with me, and has for awhile is the word empowered (actually that word in it’s various forms… empowering, empower, etc)

Here’s the definition for empower…. “enable… to promote the self-actualization or influence of”

empower

These past few years I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve accomplished things I never thought I’d do. I’ve taken on things that were larger than life to me.

And  I did them. And each time I accomplished something new … it was empowering. And empowerment builds confidence, and an empowered, confident woman feels like she can take on the world.

It builds a “don’t mess with me” take no prisoners attitude.

And I’ve realized how much I want to share and convey that to others… but the crazy thing is… it’s not something I can just “bestow” on someone .

The word empower is a verb. It requires action from us. To be empowered we must be active in what we want to achieve.

It requires a certain amount of reckless abandon to what we’re doing. It requires us to shut down the “sensible” part of our brain that questions what on earth we are thinking? It will mean getting out of our comfort zone. Often it’s taking on a task that seems quite formidable. I’ve found, those are the best places to be.

Let me give you an example. After I ran my first half marathon the question came… “so now you’re gonna run a full one, right?”

“Uh.. no. You realize that’s 26.2 miles right? No. Other people do that not me.”

Then I ran my second, third, and it was only after my fourth that I walked away with the idea in my head… I knew it was time… time to consider a full marathon.

I made the commitment to it and early on I had the thought go through my head… “oh my gosh… a marathon? Like… 26.2 miles??? Will you be able to do that?”

And I pondered my sanity….

And then… I quickly, swiftly, stomped those thoughts down and never let them rise up again. You cannot allow thoughts like that when you are attempting something so much bigger than you.

You cannot allow those thoughts to rule you or somehow convince you that you aren’t enough, or don’t have what it takes… if you do… you lose.

I trained hard. I trained conservatively with my goal to do it and successfully finish. And finish I did ( in 5:23) on an unseasonably hot November day that topped 89 degrees…brutal was an understatement.

And yes, when I crossed that finish line, with sunburn marks, sweat drenched, mentally and physically exhausted with legs begging to stop moving, I had never felt more victorious or empowered in my entire life.

I did it. I didn’t back down. I didn’t listen to the “voices”. I didn’t convince myself I couldn’t do it.

It takes those times of empowerment to show us we are capable of so much more than we often think we are.

You.. my reading friend… what are you thinking of doing? What thing seems larger than life, yet scares you to do?

Stomp down all the reasons why you think you can’t, don’t listen to the “voices”, and dive with reckless abandon into that thing which will empower you like nothing else.

You’ve got this.

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The Struggle

challenges

The young woman talked easily with  me sharing  her struggles with weight loss and food  describing her various up’s and down’s with weight loss over the years.

At one point she said…. “Oh, but I’m sure you don’t  understand that” as she does  an overall gesture that covers me from head to toe, indicating that based on how I look now I certainly couldn’t understand her struggles, or that I had walked in her shoes.

Maybe not to the entire degree she had, but the physique I have today, I wasn’t born with nor have I had it most of my life.

I’ve had to earn it, and it’s only come about in the past few years working at it. Which is pretty much exactly what I told her. She hadn’t known me very long when our paths crossed so it was perhaps easy for her to draw conclusions that I’ve always been some kind of fitness queen.

How did I explain the struggles I had been through in the past, yet, had overcome? Like, the need to go through a drive thru for a “snack” because I was “starving”? ( please note: you won’t really starve before you get home to get something better than a drive thru snack) I’ve since learned to keep a few decent snacks stashed away, for emergency purposes 😉 how I’ve trained myself to eat slowly and savor my food, and understand that it doesn’t take a lot to feed your hunger? That I made a dedicated, focused choice in the beginning to exercise? That some days I flat out didn’t want to do it, but now, couldn’t imagine NOT doing it? To treat food with respect and know that it will still be around tomorrow and I don’t have to eat it all tonight? Coming to an understanding that eating good, healthy, nutrient dense food wasn’t a punishment, but life giving, energy inducing, age defying goodness ?

I shared parts of my story with her and let her know that I did indeed, understand struggles. In fact, I’m pretty sure there isn’t a person around that doesn’t struggle at some point.

We struggle with eating to much, not eating enough, not enough of the good foods, or  to much junk, getting our bodies out the door to exercise, whatever it is, there can be struggles.

I’m no different.

I thought about that today as I was grocery shopping. There are SOOOO many tempting treats… so many impulse items we can buy. I mentally slapped myself and kept going several times.

You know how I don’t eat certain things ? I simply don’t bring them home…which…well… kinda sucks sometimes when I’m trolling really wanting something and it’s not there haha it’s a cruel paradox.

Not that I don’t have treats… ’cause I do… I’ve just learned that to be successful means saying no to impulsive moments more frequently than giving in to them.

If I want something, really want something, I do get it. Some things I try to not bring home ’cause I know it’s my “trigger”.

For instance, I adore Salt and Pepper kettle potato chips…. adore them. One day I was shopping with hubby and  drooling as I walked by them and he said.. “well, just grab them”

He doesn’t understand… they are like… crack to me…or I’m pretty sure they have crack in them… either way… no matter what… I know once that bag is opened … it’s all over.

My plan is to have just a few… but somehow… I nibble that bag away till they are gone the next day.

I know my weaknesses. I’ve learned tricks to deal with some of those weaknesses. Sometimes I’m successful, sometimes, not so much so.

As I shared with the young woman, I haven’t gotten where I am without my fair share of struggles.

What’s kept me successful is not giving up, giving in, or quitting. Not saying I had a “bad” day and I’m a failure and it’s not working so I should just quit.

I guess, at some point, stubbornness isn’t a bad thing.  It can lead to success….

I want to remind you that struggles along the way to getting fit and healthy are normal. But I also think we are refined in the process.

struggle to success

We learn to make better choices, think things through more, decide what really matters to us.

I’ve learned to think so critically about many things I put in my mouth, but again, it’s been a learned process that has been born through struggles.

I know it’s almost cliché to use that “anything worth having is worth working for” but it’s true.

Every time you make a better choice, pass on something you know you really don’t need, say yes to healthier foods, get out and move , whatever it is, will make you stronger and help you take the next step to your goals.

 

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I want to encourage you, no matter where you are on your journey, the struggle my friend, is a part of the victory of success.

Don’t give up.

Learning To Embrace Yourself

Last week while I was being busy droning around the house doing those varied and multiple tasks that need to be tended to, I heard a story come on one of those entertainment shows that happened to be on, ( let it be noted my tv “viewing” is more often listening while I’m doing something else haha)

Anyway, it was a story about Kate Gosselin, and how she had this incredible bikini body. You may or may not remember her claim to fame was being pregnant with eight babies at once, which then turned into a reality show for awhile. Honestly, I have no idea what she’s up to now…other than rocking it on a beach somewhere in her bikini.

So I did watch with some fascination and agreed, yes, she looked awesome. But then, hey, couldn’t every mom who’s given birth if they had a team of plastic surgeons nipping, tucking, shaping, lifting and “enhancing”?

Please, hear me out.

I’m not being snarky. I’m not bashing. I firmly believe that women need to build each other up and not tear down based on insecurities. I admire women and my goal is always to be encouraging and supportive.

I just don’t know that it’s a real honest assessment… like she’s busted her butt forever and got that  body… to hold that out to the average woman as something she can achieve.

I’m sure she works out… I mean… I don’t know for a fact… but it’s a strong probability.  I just don’t know it’s fair to hold that image out to women like “hey, after all those babies she can look like this and you should/can too!”

I mean, that’s Hollywood and unrealistic expectations for the rest of the world, right ?

We don’t have 24 hour personal trainers.

We can’t afford plastic surgery even if we might want to.

We don’t have personal chefs or nutritionists that plan and cook our meals.

We don’t have time to devote half our day to our bodies.

We work, have kids to chase down, homes we have to take care of and all that goes with it,  projects to do, meals to cook, etc. etc.

And somewhere, in the midst of all that, we try and carve out a little time to take care of ourselves ( hopefully you do)

And I hope, you have a positive, loving attitude about that body of yours. It makes me sad when women ( and maybe guys do this too) are critical and harsh with themselves.

Supposed “flaws” are singled out. Comparisons made to other peoples bodies. Self-defeating talk. Magazines with airbrushed seemingly “flawless” bodies that can leave us feeling inadequate.

Why are we so critical with ourselves? And why do we often miss how self-defeating that is.

No. Most of us will never be shaped, enhanced, or lifted to fix our “flaws”.

But hey listen up, there’s nothing wrong with you and it’s ok to embrace yourself as you are.

Working to lose weight? Be kind and patient with yourself as you move through the process of becoming a stronger, healthier, more fit you.

Maybe you’re at the weight you want to be but you’ve been working on that “thing” ( seriously will that loose skin EVER tighten up ??)

Perhaps you look in the mirror and hate your ( fill in the blank).

Stop it.

Learn to embrace you and love yourself. Understand some things will never change.. be ok with that. Know that many things CAN change… you need to determine if you want to work for it to make it happen.

My body has changed dramatically from my mid20’s when I was having babies, to my 30-40’s, to now.

Physically, I’m in better shape now than I’ve ever been. I’m stronger, pack more muscle, and can do more athletically than when I was younger. I love that.

I’ve also carried to term, three beautiful sons.  My body miraculously housed and then delivered big, strong, healthy boys. No matter what exercise I do, I will still have marks from carrying them and skin that isn’t perfectly tight.

My turning point was a few years ago when I just decided to own every aspect of myself, and that meant not worrying so much about my perceived “flaws” and focusing overall on having a strong, healthy and fit body.

I did rock a bikini at the beach. I was more confident and proud of those muscles in my tummy that I had built than skin that wasn’t entirely “perfect”…. but even now I’d have to say…by whose standards would that be determined… “perfect”?

I simply learned to embrace myself… no excuses or pardon needed for anything.

There is a tremendous amount of freedom when you do that, learn to embrace yourself, and be truly comfy in your own skin.

Now I’m not saying you should dive into a bikini if you’re not comfortable with that… be you…  always be who you are…. but don’t hide behind something because you think you have to.

Don’t make apologies for yourself. Don’t look at yourself as flawed.

Embrace the beauty of who you uniquely are…. and hey…. we might not look as reshaped as Kate… but if you wanna rock that bikini…. go for it 😉

 

 

 

Don’t Wait For Next Year To Change

January

“Well, I’m just gonna get started in January, you know, once the holidays are over.”

If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it, yeah, a lot.

The New Years Resolution.

The New Years promise to finally “get in shape”, to “lose weight”, and to “get healthier”.

What it might amount to is a fairly guiltless free for all of eating for weeks like a man condemned to the gallows never to see good food again.

Then with a rigid determination come the official first of the year and a stoic do or die approach, you set out to finally lose weight.

All the good foods are gone ( you might have helped eat them to “get them out of the house”) you’ve stocked up on celery and rice cakes and pulled out the Jillian Michaels workout video that you will overdo on and hurt like heck the next day ’cause your body is protesting all that activity. You will hop on the scale looking for it to show some “loss” to reward you for your first hard day of labor and suffering.

Ha.. ok.. I’m  messing with you, but maybe you see yourself in there somewhere.

I do. I used a lot of my past to kinda make fun of the predictable behaviors so many go through each year.

Sad thing is, those good intentions, almost never last past that first month.

I just want to encourage you to not wait for the New Year to start focusing on taking care of yourself. Each day is a new opportunity to eat well, and get in some good purposeful movement. I was talking with someone and again the conversation came up that exercise is something our bodies require for health and wellness, not just to be used as a tool to lose weight ( although it helps with that too).

Exercise is crucial to our overall well being! And needless to say, eating well, gives us good energy to move through our day.

I want to challenge you to not wait for 2016 to start making changes, but begin today.

Taking small steps each day will position you to continue forward movement after the holidays are over towards permanent healthy changes.

Can you think of a better way to start off your New Year ?