Last week while I was being busy droning around the house doing those varied and multiple tasks that need to be tended to, I heard a story come on one of those entertainment shows that happened to be on, ( let it be noted my tv “viewing” is more often listening while I’m doing something else haha)
Anyway, it was a story about Kate Gosselin, and how she had this incredible bikini body. You may or may not remember her claim to fame was being pregnant with eight babies at once, which then turned into a reality show for awhile. Honestly, I have no idea what she’s up to now…other than rocking it on a beach somewhere in her bikini.
So I did watch with some fascination and agreed, yes, she looked awesome. But then, hey, couldn’t every mom who’s given birth if they had a team of plastic surgeons nipping, tucking, shaping, lifting and “enhancing”?
Please, hear me out.
I’m not being snarky. I’m not bashing. I firmly believe that women need to build each other up and not tear down based on insecurities. I admire women and my goal is always to be encouraging and supportive.
I just don’t know that it’s a real honest assessment… like she’s busted her butt forever and got that body… to hold that out to the average woman as something she can achieve.
I’m sure she works out… I mean… I don’t know for a fact… but it’s a strong probability. I just don’t know it’s fair to hold that image out to women like “hey, after all those babies she can look like this and you should/can too!”
I mean, that’s Hollywood and unrealistic expectations for the rest of the world, right ?
We don’t have 24 hour personal trainers.
We can’t afford plastic surgery even if we might want to.
We don’t have personal chefs or nutritionists that plan and cook our meals.
We don’t have time to devote half our day to our bodies.
We work, have kids to chase down, homes we have to take care of and all that goes with it, projects to do, meals to cook, etc. etc.
And somewhere, in the midst of all that, we try and carve out a little time to take care of ourselves ( hopefully you do)
And I hope, you have a positive, loving attitude about that body of yours. It makes me sad when women ( and maybe guys do this too) are critical and harsh with themselves.
Supposed “flaws” are singled out. Comparisons made to other peoples bodies. Self-defeating talk. Magazines with airbrushed seemingly “flawless” bodies that can leave us feeling inadequate.
Why are we so critical with ourselves? And why do we often miss how self-defeating that is.
No. Most of us will never be shaped, enhanced, or lifted to fix our “flaws”.
But hey listen up, there’s nothing wrong with you and it’s ok to embrace yourself as you are.
Working to lose weight? Be kind and patient with yourself as you move through the process of becoming a stronger, healthier, more fit you.
Maybe you’re at the weight you want to be but you’ve been working on that “thing” ( seriously will that loose skin EVER tighten up ??)
Perhaps you look in the mirror and hate your ( fill in the blank).
Learn to embrace you and love yourself. Understand some things will never change.. be ok with that. Know that many things CAN change… you need to determine if you want to work for it to make it happen.
My body has changed dramatically from my mid20’s when I was having babies, to my 30-40’s, to now.
Physically, I’m in better shape now than I’ve ever been. I’m stronger, pack more muscle, and can do more athletically than when I was younger. I love that.
I’ve also carried to term, three beautiful sons. My body miraculously housed and then delivered big, strong, healthy boys. No matter what exercise I do, I will still have marks from carrying them and skin that isn’t perfectly tight.
My turning point was a few years ago when I just decided to own every aspect of myself, and that meant not worrying so much about my perceived “flaws” and focusing overall on having a strong, healthy and fit body.
I did rock a bikini at the beach. I was more confident and proud of those muscles in my tummy that I had built than skin that wasn’t entirely “perfect”…. but even now I’d have to say…by whose standards would that be determined… “perfect”?
I simply learned to embrace myself… no excuses or pardon needed for anything.
There is a tremendous amount of freedom when you do that, learn to embrace yourself, and be truly comfy in your own skin.
Now I’m not saying you should dive into a bikini if you’re not comfortable with that… be you… always be who you are…. but don’t hide behind something because you think you have to.
Don’t make apologies for yourself. Don’t look at yourself as flawed.
Embrace the beauty of who you uniquely are…. and hey…. we might not look as reshaped as Kate… but if you wanna rock that bikini…. go for it 😉