life – Page 2 – sassyfitnesschick

It’s The Small Things

You know that saying “it’s the small things in life?” Meaning it’s those things we might not think much about that really matter in big ways. Things we seemingly take for granted and don’t often give maybe a lot of thought too.

Sometimes, the small things really are big things.

For example, my week. I hurt my hand last week. And not just “a little hurt” but hurt enough to make some things not only painful ( as in make me sick to my stomach pain) but also super inconvenient as well.

My advice… don’t stick your hand in when two dogs are at odds with each other. Dumb I know. It’s an unthinking move at the time.

Of course, it was my left hand. And yes, that’s my dominant hand. I’m one of the few unique ones operating with a hand many of you still express surprise over when it’s revealed.

Ha… where… do you think all my artistic creativity comes from ? 😛

I’d never view my health or body wellness as a “small” thing, it’s just that I’m used to going through my days fairly effortlessly and without dealing with inconveniences.

I never really pondered the ease of doing zippers, buckling belts, tying shoes, doing my makeup, driving! , writing, waking up without my hand instantly aching or attempting to grasp things with my hand.

I have now pondered it a lot.

What physical activities?

Given my hand had some serious injuries, it’s curbed me from activities like boxing, rowing, cycling, weights.. pretty much anything that requires me to have a good strong grip.

Yes, I can still run but my hand was swollen and I didn’t think it was a great idea to be out swinging it and running and all that would come along with it.

Today was my first venture back out, a short 5kish distance to see how it felt. I tried to be mindful to hold it up more and not let my arm move as freely as I usually might. I guess it worked ok ’cause I didn’t feel awful after.

IMG_20180515_124659_716

It’s a good thing I like running ’cause it appears I will only be doing that for awhile. I’m ok with the idea since there are so many ways I can adjust running to mix it up and not get bored.

Running let’s me plot different routes, distances and I can determine how easy or hard that will be.

Do I include a route where I know I’ll get plenty of hills? Or do I keep it mostly flat? Better yet, do I want to do just hill repeats which is a strength and speed workout all in one? I really, weirdly, love doing hill repeats. If you’ve read my posts before on them, they aren’t your average “hill” but literally are mountains that have been paved over. It’s really quite a nice workout.

I was picking up my mail one day and one of my neighbors was there at that time. Our conversation went like this…

“Hey! I saw you running up that big hill this morning!”

Me… “yes, yes I was.”

Neighbor… “Running. You were running up it.”

( he said it like a statement of something I may or may not have been aware of)

“Yes sir, I was running up that hill. You are correct.”

“Girl you are crazy. I don’t even think I could manage to walk up it.”

Ha I should be semi amused he called me “girl” and it should be noted this isn’t the first time my neighbors may have referred to me as a little crazy in regards to my cycling and running on some of the tough terrain we live on.

So yeah. Hill workouts will definitely be a part of my regime as my hand heals until I can get back to that other stuff I love doing.

But I digress….

in this week as I’ve dealt with it I have thought about those things, big and small, I can take so casually. Perhaps it’s when you go through struggles or difficulties that you focus in on it more.

It should be noted, I really don’t do confinement well. I don’t do good with clipped wings. I don’t do well not being able to confidently take care of the things around me I need to.

I literally have grass threatening to grow over my head…. I need to have a strong enough hand for that push mower.

Perhaps it’s in these times that I am more aware of those seemingly small things I assume is a privilege and it’s really not.

small things

None of us are really, entitled to anything. Which makes the gifts we have so much more treasured and valuable.

Being able to freely use my hand to drive, to cook, to grasp, cut, lift, do my makeup or blow dry my hair, to do all of the creative artistic things I’m enjoying ( ha I’ve just sucked it up and endured some pain to keep on with a few of my projects) write something without looking like someone hijacked my penmanship, so many things I’ve found myself considering.

In the course of life, this isn’t earth shaking and awful.

Certainly people daily go through so much more. It doesn’t have to be huge to make us stop and think and reflect on what we’re given and how precious it is and how we should value the abilities and gifts we have.

It’s all about gratitude

perhaps it comes down to that. Understanding that no matter what our situation we can choose to have a grateful attitude. Not for what we’re going through necessarily, but for all the small things, big things and everything in between.

For me, it’s simply easier to stay there than focus on the negative.

So I will try and appreciate all those small things in life that I previously hadn’t. I will celebrate daily improvement getting back to “normal” ( hahaha well that will most likely never happen as I’m far from that 😛 )

I will fully embrace my abilities when I get them again to wrap my hand firmly around heavy metal and lift it. To ride my bike at swift speeds and feel my hand clamp down on the brakes slowing my speed. To slip into my boxing gloves and sink my body weight into the bag. To be seated on the rowing machine hands wrapped around the pull as my entire body responds to the work.

Sometimes the small things aren’t so small. Sometimes it’s those very things that make us feel alive and quicken our spirits.

Tell me, how do you embrace difficulty? Have you ever given much consideration to those “small things” in your life? Can you choose to be grateful in those times or are you annoyed to be in them?

The Beauty Of Adoption

Birthdays. We all have them and if we’re lucky and blessed, we will be given a good number of them as we spend our days on this earth. Kids eagerly anticipate them and often are planning them longer in advance than Christmas.

Even though I’m in the age range of “approaching older than dirt” I guess I’m still a kid at heart.

I want presents. I want an amazing cake and my favorite ice cream. I want balloons. I want all the good stuff. I don’t subscribe to being old means you don’t need/get that anymore.

Nonsense.

In my family we are entering birthday season and yesterday we celebrated my youngest, my daughter.

She officially left the teen years behind. She was the last of my brood to do so.

I have grown adult kids. Holy cow how did that happen??

Yesterday was her official birthday but we will kinda be celebrating her through out the week. I will be making some type of wicked cake this Saturday, but yesterday we had monster cupcakes ’cause you need something to celebrate moving into a new decade, right?

20180424_170653 — Cupcakes are larger than they appear 😉

Kids grow up, that’s normal right?

Yep, they do. And as mentioned she’s the last one leaving her teen years so I’ve got a little practice on me with several ahead of her.

But here’s the deal.

We got her when she was 8 years old. Half of her childhood had gone by. Sometimes maybe, I have a hard time realizing she is now a young woman. Maybe I’m still caught up thinking there should be more childhood years.

Of course add to it she’s a whopping 4’10, I sometimes forget that she isn’t a “little” girl anymore.

The choice to adopt.

born under my heart

We had children. We had three perfect, wonderful,healthy sons that we were quite happy with. They were all big when we made the decision to add to our family through adoption. Our youngest son was 11.

We knew we were done with babies and wanted a child that could just get up and go with us and start to fit into our family. We were told adopting older children was fairly easy since there were so many and families tend to want younger children.

The labor begins

Adoption has it’s own labor as much as carrying a child and then delivering them. It’s just a different labor and delivery process.

We adopted our daughter through the foster care system. There are literally hundreds of thousands of children in the U.S. foster care. We found an agency to work with and began the classes and working on home requirements, inspections etc that were required.

There was loads of paper work.

Some of the classes were painfully boring. Some things as a parent, we already knew and were just understood yet we had to sit in parenting classes.

We told the agency about the type of child we wanted. We settled on somewhere between age 7-10, race wasn’t important and of course, we wanted a girl.

The delivery

We got the call not many days after all of our official paperwork was done. There was a young girl who needed emergency placement within a couple days or she would be taken to the children’s shelter. She fit into our criteria, would we want to meet her?

Well, of course we did.

We made arrangement for the next day, a Wednesday, to meet her and her foster family as well as the caseworker at a local restaurant.

It is a weird experience walking in and seeing a child that you know is going to be yours. It is weird knowing you are getting someone else’s child and are picking up the reins to raise and care for them.

There are a whole lot of emotions that are going on.

And not just for us, but for her too. At 8 years of age she had been through more than a lot of children. She also knew that something was up and was trying to be her most ‘impressive”.

We enjoyed our time meeting her and told the caseworker we were willing to move forward.

That was on Wednesday. On Friday December 1, 2006 our daughter arrived with a book, one stuffed animal and a small trash bag of clothes, most of which did not fit.

She was nervous, a bit hyper and desperately wanting to do all the right things.

You see we were her fifth placement since October of that year.

5 homes in a few months through no fault of her own.

Imagine being at your job one day. Your life isn’t perfect but it’s what you know. Then a nice man shows up and tells you that you can’t go back home but you are going to go live with some other nice people. He has stopped at your home and brought a few of your things but that is all that goes with you.

You leave everything you know behind to walk into a new home and life… immediately.

Imagine for a moment if you can, what that would feel like. The complete uprooting of your life.

Now think of a child having to deal with it.

Is it any wonder they all have some sort of “emotional issues”?

The journey begins

It’s hard sitting here writing this, to think back to those early days when we got her, attempting to remember the way she was.

She’s always been sweet and loving. She desperately wanted a family and to be able to stay somewhere. She also was prone to immediate temper tantrums, biting, lying, and delivering words you might not expect from a child.

In the beginning any wrong move terrified her making her sure that she “would have to go”

I remember asking her one day what did she think was so bad that she could do that she’d have to leave… that we wouldn’t keep her. In her child’s way she had all these reasons that I assured her weren’t reasons for us to get rid of her like a bag of trash.

How did that happen?

It took day after day of love, care, patience and showing her that in families people make mistakes or do things wrong but you love each other and keep moving forward. There wasn’t going to be something she’d do that would make us send her on to another home.

It took day after day of love, correction, discipline, and showing new examples for changes to occur.

Since we did the foster to adopt route and she was older with parental rights already terminated, we were able to move forward in a quick way with the adoption.

In May, 5 short months later, she officially became ours. But even then it was a long time before I think she really believed she was truly home and no one could take her or make her leave.

We had to develop routines and consistency and set boundaries. We had to show her love in ways our boys never needed it. We had to work through some negative behaviors that are really more survival skills kids pick up going through the upheavals of changing homes and being in foster care.

After about the second day of having her I realized I needed to handle her just like my own kids. For awhile it seems like you’ve got the neighbors kid and you find yourself allowing or even giving them little things they request. So that’s what we did. If we were committing to make her our daughter then we would handle her like our own.

And then the years move by

Day by day, moment by moment you’re living life. And somehow this new life merged into ours.

Love, patience, training, teaching. helping, more patience and she began to blossom. The more secure she became the less talk there was she might have “to leave”.

She made friends, was doing well in school was liked by her teachers and was living a normal life a kid should have.

As I contemplate the young woman she has turned into it’s hard not to feel a little proud. Her dad and I consider her no less ours than the ones that biologically were given to us.

She went through her entire high school career on the dance team, maintained awesome grades, worked, kept a close circle of friends and was an overall good kid.

She has finished her first year of college and heading into her second. She has goals set for herself. She is focused and determined. She has continued to work and has arranged her school schedule around that.

She is sweet, compassionate, loving and giving. Oh, and she still has a strong little stubborn will too haha But she is also always grateful, always thankful for the life she was given.

I’ve tried to show her how to be strong, how to do things for herself and how to be proud of who she is and not compare herself to others.

I want her to be a woman who knows how to get things done and can see ways to make it happen.

She always says she is blessed and grateful but we remind her we feel the same way.

Adoption.. things to know

We did it more than once. In fact we did it three times. Like pregnancy and delivery each one has their own story and out come.

If you feel led to pursue adoption consider doing it through the foster care system. A little known fact is that it costs next to nothing to adopt. This could vary state by state but for ours it was nothing.

There are tons of myths about kids in foster care and adopting them. Yes, some do have serious issues. You would need to know and understand your level of abilities and care giving skills if you felt called to care for them.

Overall, there are more kids that are like yours but unfortunately they are in situations they didn’t ask to be put in. They’ve done nothing wrong to be there. They just want to be kids and do kid things and be safe and loved.

The children are many and they desperately want the same things your own kids do.

Love, security, family, a sense of belonging, birthday parties, friends, holiday celebrations etc.

Many “issues” are from the emotional trauma of what they’ve been through. With love, care, patience and a little time these behaviors leave. Our daughter exhibits none of the behaviors she came with all those years ago.

You can pick the age, sex, race and level of behaviors you think you can handle in a child. You can ask for a single child or a sibling group.

We found the agency and workers we dealt with to be very helpful and encouraging. To this day I maintain connections with many of them.

Keep in mind, you might be excited about the adoption idea, but when you share it with family they may or may not be immediately on board with the idea.

Don’t worry about it.

This is about you and the calling you and your family have. The rest will eventually come along you may have to give it time. Even if they entirely don’t, this is about your family. Just focus on that. Adoption will take all of your positive energy.

Finally, adoption is simply a most beautiful way to not just add to your family but to give a child their forever family, something they all long for.

It’s a beautiful gift you both give to each other and there is nothing more rewarding than that.

Todays post is more of a life post. Sometimes I’ll spend some time sharing things that impact us in our lives. Have you had any connection or interaction with adoption?

Monday Musings

Happy Monday boys and girls… here we go again! A week behind us and a new week of adventures ahead.

Since it’s Monday, I think it’s appropriate we talk about M&M’s.

Candy. Yeah I know.

You like hanging out with me ’cause I’m sane and sensible when it comes to health and fitness and treats are an allowable part of a good life.

But there’s a story here…

You see our local store has been hawking them like crazy for weeks now.

Why? I’m not exactly sure. But they are everywhere. On the end of every aisle and literally all down the center of store right before check outs with huge signs that say

“BUY 1 GET ONE FREE!”

They have them in baskets right where you pay with the same sign.

Ok, I just can’t be tempted that easily. You gotta come at me harder. I mean I do have many moments of temptation in the store but can usually dodge stuff like that.

The checker the other day was prompting me…

“Don’t you want some? I mean, you get an extra bag”

Me: “No, I still have candy from Halloween, Christmas, and Easter laying around” ( I didn’t buy any for Valentines day)

I’ve managed to avoid temptation until I realized they were peddling a new flavor…. which would be Crunchy Mint.

I bought into it like a fish going after a June bug. A girl can only take so much pressure, right??

Chocolate and mint are in my opinion, have the right kind of relationship going on

20180421_152539 — It says “Sharing size” I’m not sure about that idea 😉

This is evidently one of their new flavors you/we the public get to have a say in. Let me say this about them… have you ever had the Girl Scouts Thin Mint Cookies?

Yeah… like little crunchy, chocolate morsels of ground up Girl Scout cookies. They are up there in ways of tasty deliciousness. Vote for these little suckers to stay around all the time.

Ok and I may share with the fam… maybe….

Anyone tried these?

A deep thought provoking question for you

Hubby shared something last week, one of those meme’s that said something like ” being an adult is a lot like trying to fold a fitted sheet”

Well, the topic of folding fitted sheets got more discussion than the actual funny intended meaning of the post.

Which got me to thinking… weird.. I know…

I pretty much stated how I felt about folding fitted sheets. I find them annoying. I can fold them, my mom and grandmother taught me well. It’s just I don’t spend any amount of time trying to “get them right” or perfect or whatever.

Sometimes they might be a loosely tossed folded ball hahaha

Not really. The point being, I find it largely irrelevant. I don’t care if they are folded right or just clean and put away. I understand no one is patting me on the head if I do it “right” nor do I get an award for being awesome at it.

I’m to much of a free spirit to worry about many things, that being one of them. I’d rather get on to something more fun.

Lots of people though, seemed to take their folding fitted sheets pretty seriously. I guess the older I’ve gotten the more I seem to not worry or get hung up on a lot of things that don’t need so much of my attention. The sheet thing just got me to thinking about it.

How I’d rather get done necessary chores, in as quick a way as possible while keeping a clean, organized home, so I can get on to stuff that’s fun and enjoyable to me.

As in I like a clean house, but it’s not something I love doing. I like the final result but I don’t get a thrill out of.

I save that for flying off hills on my bike 😉

What camp do you fall in? Are you super particular with sheet folding? Or do you just hit it and get on with life ? Or are there other things that you prefer not to do but get done to move on with something more fun?

Then there’s life in the hill country

Nothing makes my day more complete than coming home and realizing two of my goofy dogs have gotten a wild hair to dig out under the fence.

Nothing really makes my day more complete than one of them coming home looking like this….

20180418_175455 — Yep, a face full of porcupine quills

The sad thing is, he’s so goofy. This isn’t his first time. Or his second time. I wasn’t feeling super happy with him at this point… the next day and hundreds of dollars later he came home… much happier than when he went in.

Goof head. All he had to do was stay in his safe yard and not go running through miles of rugged country and he wouldn’t have to go through that.

But before that unexpected surprise

I had been out shopping and gathering ideas for some of my furniture projects I’ve been working on

20180418_171558 — these colors 🙂 you’ll have to see they all play out

You will just have to wait and see what unfold with this scheme 😉

Oh but I did collect some fun new goodies this week! The best part, they’ve all been super cheap.

20180420_174445 — 1930’s beverage trolley

this little piece I got from a girl selling some random things out of a storage building. I knew it was old but took it and knew I’d research it more when I got home. It was 15.00 so I was willing to take a chance on it. It’s an old school beverage cart/ trolley. How clever right? They actually used to use carts for teas and other drinks. I love the little drawer that I guess, held utensils. I also got a cute solid wood accent table that I have ideas for, I just need to get to it.

I’m excited to have several pieces I’m working on that will hopefully be ready to go to new homes in the next week.

Sunday I picked up some chairs that I came across. I haven’t really gone after chairs as I haven’t been sure exactly what I would do with them. But these were so cute and old and she was selling them for next to nothing, I couldn’t resist.

I couldn’t resist, especially since I immediately had ideas bouncing through my head for them.

20180422_121050

ok what I love most of all is how perfectly, horribly needy they are. It’s my idea of perfect project pieces.

20180422_201928 — I’ve only learned to celebrate my win when I’m actually driving home with my prize

Random fact

If there’s one thing I get a lot it’s comments on my smile and this week I guess I heard it more than usual.

So I’ll just say this to the questions I get often.. yes my teeth are naturally like this and no I never had braces 😛

I’m a good girl and see my dentist twice a year for cleanings, floss most of the time and eat foods that keep my mouth healthy.

Are you good about flossing? We all should be 😉

Speaking of food…..

I came across this tasty looking recipe a day or two back. I haven’t made it yet, but think it will be on the menu sometime this week.

Have you whipped up anything new this week? What new adventures have you been on? What are you most looking forward to in the week ahead?

Monday Musings

So it’s Sunday evening and I have to say, it’s been the most bipolar, weird weather kinda weekend. We got a unexpected cold front down here in the deep South, say what??

Spring is in the air and all that.. but no… we got some really crisp, chilly air over the weekend to liven things up.

Of course, by this afternoon I was out cutting grass in shorts and a tank top 😛

This last burst of chilly air let me wear some of my fav clothes before they got put away for the season.

Well, I honestly thought they WERE put away….but then…..

20180408_194108 — Got spring like…. while I’m wearing my fav flannel and beanie one last time for this season… I think…

Speaking of grass… with spring and some rain comes grass that show’s up faster than relatives for dinner.

Today was the first venture into this seasons grass cutting. I like cutting grass.

Weird, I know.

I also use a push mower, which I view as extra cardio work. Grown men tell me I’m crazy. For some reason they seem to prefer their “riding mower”.

I have like 80 acres to cut so it is a bonus workout. Well, perhaps I exaggerate a wee bit, but I do have over a solid acre and a half of wilderness to cut back.

I have my ipod in, and am usually in shorts and my bikini top so I get to work on my tan too. It’s kinda of a win/ win thing.

There’s something really satisfying about doing it and seeing it all neatly clipped and tidy that makes it all worth it.

Till next week….

Do you like to cut the grass?

And meanwhile, some of ya’ll are digging out of snow… snow. Good heavens.

As things go in the South though, we will move from spring to baking heat in a swift time leaving these cool days a distant memory.

For now though. we enjoy.

Mild weather does make for enjoyable outdoor exercise

Last weeks athletic shenanigans had me on the road on foot and bike. The mornings were cool enough to make me appreciate the spring day, but had me working up a decent sweat by the time I got back home.

A week in my fitness life isn’t complete without some strength training days. I tried out a couple new things which I always enjoy. Not only does it keep boredom from setting in, it’s a good way to constantly be working different muscle groups. I’ll share a couple I tried…..

It looks kinda innocent right? But if you’re crunched for time, this 15 minute workout will, work you out. When you’re under the gun to get in as many rounds as possible “amrap” you stay focused to task at hand.

This was another I had “fun” with. Those kettlebells will get ya every time. If you don’t have kettlebells you can use a dumbbell.

Keep in mind, you can always modify these exercises to your personal fitness level. I use a 35 lb kettlebell and I do butterfly situps with a 25lb weight plate to make it a bit more challenging.

That’s how I modify it for myself. You might need to do less reps to start or with no weights in the beginning. Don’t be afraid to experiment to find what works best for you. You can always increase each week.

These short timed exercises work all of your body, fire up your metabolism and keep it burning long after you’re finished. These sessions are great when you need to make use of a short amount of time.

The week in food

exercise isn’t the only thing I experimented with. I tried out a few new recipes on the fam. Either they are extremely grateful to eat or it’s really good I’m not sure which but everything was devoured so I think it’s a good sign.

this broccoli beef recipe is so ridiculously easy and so good. The broccoli gets tossed in while the rice cooks and it’s on the table.

http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/slow-cooker-bbq-beef-145861.aspx?cm_mmc=Social-_-Pinterest-_-CPC-_-SlowCookerBBQBeef&pp=1

And who can resist a pulled meat sandwich? this was super simple by tossing a couple chuck roasts in on low all afternoon then having it ready for an easy simple dinner.

In the way of “foods I haven’t experimented with yet”

Chickpeas.

There’s so much about them and they are supposed to be really good for you so I’m thinking this will be a topic to explore soon.

Have you tried them?

and if you’ve been following my furniture flipping adventures….

wow… I actually finished off another piece this week. I’m so in love with it. I scooped it up at this dive thrift store a month or so ago. I love the sweet classic style and adorable fixtures on it. It’s a early 1920’s serpentine drawer dresser. It was missing one castor ( the wheels they used to put furniture on back in the day) thankfully, I can order some through the beauty of Ebay to fix that little issue. As you will see it was a bit needy looking when I dragged it home.

Those are my most favorite pieces…

20180306_180932

20180313_163253 — the top was a bit of a mess…..

20180328_164444 (1) — In the works! The top sanded down pretty well, testing out the new color 😉

And finally, ya’ll say hello to Olivia 🙂

20180403_185409 — She still needs a wheel 😛

20180403_185554 — Ah! Look how beautiful the fixtures cleaned up

20180403_185709 — I try and leave as much original as I can… a peek at the drawer sides…

I always thought this piece was so feminine. The colors and look were very visual in my head for the longest time. Olivia seemed a perfect name for this project with pretty lines and hardware. Therefore, it sorta surprised me that as I cleaned and worked with the drawers the scent of sweet tobacco was very present. It reminded me of what my best friends dad used to smoke in his pipe.

I thought it was me, but my kids smelled it and agreed it smelled like sweet tobacco.

A bit to late to change it to something masculine haha…

Anyway, this is by far, one of my most favorite finished pieces. Both my daughter in laws asked me “are you planning to sell this?”

When I told them no they were happy to hear it as it seems to be their favorite so far too. Besides, it already has a perfect place to live in my home. 🙂

I have a couple other things that are soooo close to being done. You’ll get a peek next week at those.

I need to cease my chattering at you and get moving towards my bed. It has been a long…day…

I’ll leave you with this,

As we head into a new week there are so many things to look forward to and new opportunities for us. I’m always grateful for the chance to experience new things and to appreciate the “normal” things in life as well.

Tell me, what are you looking forward to? What opportunities do you have ahead of you?

For The Love Of Coffee

As a writer/blogger/lover of words I spend time reading in a variety of formats. I love getting lost in a good book when I can but often I’m on the go so my phone offers opportunities to access many interesting things to read.

As in… I started reading an article one day by a local girl who has a blog. She was writing about local coffee shops.

Coffee. Well she had my attention. Tell me more.

love coffee

As she opened up her post about the local shops she then backhandedly said she left out Starbucks ’cause we all know what that’s about. ( big chain coffee shop, no explanation needed, I guess)

I’m not unfamiliar with all the small local places. In fact last year when our Starbucks ( you are welcome for all the free advertisement here 😉 ) was under renovation I did my own independent coffee shop field trips.

Some standard. Some cool. Some eclectic. Some had great coffee, others not so impressive.

Her article addressed not just the coffee but the people in the shops and the staff who worked there.

I thought the article interesting as she listed various places and shared about the coffee and food she had tried.

I guess I understand how she might have not viewed Starbucks ( large mega coffee chain) as interesting, fun, or engaging as a local quaint spot. I have friends who frequently dismiss Starbucks as unworthy of patronage or attention.

I think she missed out not learning about our Starbucks. I think many local people miss the point too when they mock “big corporation coffee”.

Sometimes, it’s just not about the coffee.

Oh don’t misunderstand me here. I do love the coffee. Hot or cold I’ll take it.

Starbucks is mainly, convenient for me. But in the years I’ve been hanging out there the coffee is sometimes just an added bonus to the relationships that I’ve built with those who are there whether they are the baristas or the customers.

In a previous post I wrote for National Coffee Day https://sassyfitnesschick.com/2015/09/30/celebrating-coffee/ I talk about some of the people I’ve met and the encounters I’ve had.

Coffee and meeting people, engaging with other lives. It’s a rewarding experience.

The baristas I come to really care for and I hate it when they leave. I’m fortunate to keep up with so many of them after they head off to new adventures. I get to see them get married or start families, finish school or follow along with their life. Sometimes, my heart hurts for pain, struggles and loss they go through.

Then there are the familiar faces, the regulars, who are there. Ones you come to expect at certain times and who are there for various reasons. In the mornings it can be like a big family meeting with everyone hanging out for morning coffee.

Of course there are the random strangers that I get to have one time conversations with and that’s ok too. I often learn a lot about someone in a short time.. just a glimpse into another life.

One man that I wrote about in my last coffee post, an older man, who was old enough to be my dad, was one of the regulars I probably knew the longest there. He often asked me about my athletic shenanigans admiring me for what I did, challenging me when I needed challenged and wanting to see my medals after I had finished a race. He was one of the few people at the time who knew I was considering running a 50K.

I remember telling him ” it’s just such a long race. It scares me to think of doing it” he simply told me ” you can do it. Think of all you’ve done. Now you just need to get signed up. I want you to tell me you did the next time I see you.”

And the next time I saw him, I had registered.

He would ask about me and my family and I would tease him about not chasing wild women to which he’d laugh. I’d ask him if he was sure he didn’t want to go for a ride in my Charger and see how many seconds it took to get it from 0-60 mph… for some reason he always passed on that offer haha

Over the past few years he’s been up and down with health issues and we’ve all celebrated when he’d be back in for coffee in “his” chair having his iced coffee and bagel with cream cheese.

He was like the Patriarch of the place.

I was leaving one Sunday the week before Christmas when one of the men who took turns bringing him stopped me in the parking lot and delivered the news to me.

He had passed away that morning in his home.

I was heart broken. I had just seen him the day before. The tears freely fell as I thought of him and the fact he would never be in his place there anymore. I cried at the loss of another older person I cared for now being gone.

I still see him sitting there in my mind when I go in for my coffee and feel that sharp pain in my chest. I guess in time, that will go away. I will always cherish his sweet spirit and loving attitude to not just me, but everyone he encountered there.

So maybe that’s what I would say to not only the girl writing about coffee shops but to those who dismiss it as big corporate coffee.

It’s not “just” the coffee. It’s about the people who come there to drink it, whose lives begin to engage with yours who somehow make it richer in different ways and add to it from your ordinary world. People you might not have otherwise known who offer wisdom, friendship, encouragement, laughter, and most recently for many of us, grieving together over the loss of our friend.

The coffee is great, but the gift of relationships and a richer life is often, far more satisfying.

20171115_121609 — Where I enjoy writing and having a cup ( or two!) of coffee at my home away from home 😉

Weddings And All Things Lovely

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This is gonna just be one of those “life” posts. Because my life is made up of a wee bit more than my athletic adventures, debunking current health nonsense, and offering up sane and practical ways to be fit and healthy. Sometimes I just want to write about those “other” things.

As in… my first born son will be married in less than 2 weeks! That my faithful readers, is a big life event for this momma.

Now this isn’t my first rodeo marrying off a child. My middle son will celebrate 2 years married in just a few days. THAT is hard to believe. In those 2 years of marriage I’ve also received a beautiful granddaughter who turns one in a few weeks.

Will time just slow down already???

But yeah… I have a wedding coming full steam at me and as I write this today I will admit it’s my first round of actual, all out nervousness and that “OMG are we really ready for this?!” feelings.

By nature I’m not prone to that. I’m usually the more focused and in control of my feelings and emotions person. I don’t get all crazy from my nerves ( shhhh don’t ask hubby about that when I’m hours away from a race 😉 )

But today my mind is filled with all the little details and things still being done. My “to be” daughter in law has been very good with getting stuff done so that’s helped a lot. I’ve tried to work and help her to the best of my abilities.

Team work, right?

Planning a wedding is…well.. a big deal. There are so many details.. but you know…women…. we are into details.

Just ask us to tell a story 😉

So there are flowers… how many and where do they all go. In the church on the tables, off the rafters haha. What will the tables look like ? tablecloths, plates, decorations etc.

What goes in the church? Just the right touches to add to the beautiful old, antique look of it.

Food. Guests want to eat. We got to sample the goods recently and make decisions on that.

Cakes. Oh. We’ve got cake. We might have cake for days afterwards. They will be gorgeous though and oh so tasty. I hope I have time to enjoy some of it that day.

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Brides dress… all done. Portraits done.

Bridesmaids dresses and tuxes picked out and ordered.

Mother of groom dress. Ordered and hanging in my closet.

It is stunning.

Unlike many who might try to knock some weight off before the big event, I’m over here hoping to maintain my weight so my “custom made fits like a glove” dress still fits like that on the big day.

How many mothers of the groom are heavy into training for a duathlon with a wedding also on the menu? 404

All of that aside… I know… it will happen. My nerves will settle, it will be beautiful, and I gain a new lovely daughter in law in the process.

Marriage. I’ve learned a little about it in the 33 years I’ve been married.

Weddings always take me back, make me think, how I’d do it all over again with the same wonderful man.

I don’t mean for that to sound cliché or corny. It’s just true.

You grow and learn so much about each other in a married relationship. You have good times and bad times. I’m thankful our years have been filled with more good than not.

I’m thankful that no matter what, we’ve always respected each other and I think that’s a huge key to a successful marriage. Even if times aren’t great, love and respect are (I believe) huge factors to longevity.

You learn to pitch in together with common goals. work for things you want together, support each other in their own individual passions (I’m serious when I say my husbands support of my athletic and health shenanigans are huge to me) you go through kids ( and some of the literal hell they roll you through) you deal with aging parents and illness and death, finances, job changes, health issues… life stuff people. Sometimes it isn’t pretty and you want it to just be over already.

Then there are quiet moments of waking up together and talking about the day or savoring that first cup of coffee together. Special dates and doing those things that matter to the two of you… things that have been born from years of being together… things that are about you, as a couple. There are the inside jokes and weird quirky things that are between the two of you that you could exchange in a room full of people and no one would get but the two of you.

You learn about the whole “better or worse” thing that you recite in your vows. In all our years together I can honestly say that nothing has ever caused us to use the separation or divorce words.

And don’t you either.

Those are harmful words and should never be thrown around in your anger with each other.

When you make a commitment to love the other, it may mean you love, but you might not always like each other.

If you’re married and deny that, well, I’d call you out on it …’cause well.. it’s true. You’re two individual people, who different ideas, likes, interests, opinions, thoughts etc.

You will never mesh on everything, and you shouldn’t.

There is such a beauty in the differences of individuals who learn to mold and blend those differences together.

I am definitely the fiery, outspoken one of our relationship. He is calm, sees things in different ways and keeps me tethered when I’d go flying off on a tangent on something. ( Ah he tries… sometimes.. I do go untethered haha)

It’s a beautiful balance of give and take. Learning and growing. Accepting and changing.

It’s the beauty of years of lives being blended together in something sacred called marriage.

So as I work, prepare and get ready to watch my first born son become a wedded man my heart desire is for him ( his brother too) to learn these things. To allow large measures of grace to always permeate their marriage, to allow it to be in their relationship as they grow together. To be patient when they might not feel patient. To be loving even if they don’t feel like it. To be understanding of the others weaknesses and flaws. To be a helper and not a taker. To support, encourage, and build each other up. That they will cling to each other in rough times, and learn to appreciate the goodness of simple, daily life and life events. To not sweat the small things and let them go. To not waste time on being mad or arguing because they are wasting time they could love and enjoy each other. To think of the needs of the other before themselves. To live sacrificially.

Marriage is a commitment. A lifelong one. Is it always easy, no. But the beauty of having another soul who knows you inside and out. Good and bad. Knows your sense of humor and what makes you laugh. Who knows those little things that make you smile and who loves to hear about your goals and dreams, someone who is willing to go the distance with you, works with you and desires to be with you, that my friends, is nothing short of priceless.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m getting back to my to-do list and settling my nerves down.

I’ve got a wedding coming.

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Holidays, Traditions And Memories

It’s that time of year when I find myself in my pantry taking inventory. No, I’m not extremely obsessed with what’s in there or making sure no one has found my hidden stash of chocolate ( admit it, you have a stash too 😉

It’s honestly to check out what baking ingredients I have or still need before I get ready to start all of my Christmas baking and candy making for the season.

We just wrapped up Thanksgiving where I made a variety of pies and an amazing Pecan Pumpkin cheesecake.

Christmas will be all kinds of cookies, some new recipes, but mostly old, tried and true ones that have been in my family for awhile that everyone looks forward to.

For me, the traditions of the season mean as much as anything else to me. I love that my kids have been raised with certain things that as adults, are now traditions to them. My son is now interested in carrying on similar traditions with his children.

Last week I was whipping up some pumpkin pies, using a batter bowl that had been my grandmothers. She has been gone since 1994, but I know that piece from my childhood, remember her using it.

When she passed away, my mom naturally inherited all of her things. She stashed the “old” dishes away saying she had seen them her entire life and wanted to use different dishes.

When my mom passed away two years ago, the task fell on me to begin sorting through items in her house. Of course the first things I brought home were some of my grandmothers now “old” dishes.

Now long worn with wear, sporting some chips and an occasional crack, to me they reflect life, use, and the service to family. They reflect a time gone by. Family who is no longer with me today. Memories. Traditions. Shared experiences. Life.

Using these items somehow makes me feel more connected to my mom and grandmother.

I will admit, this time of year, from about October thru the New Year is hard for me since my Mom loved the entire “holiday” season. She loved the baking and freely shared her talents with so many people. She worked so hard to make the holidays enjoyable not just for her family, but those she encountered in her daily life. I miss her plotting and planning with me for our big family meals, her festively wrapped packages, and childlike enthusiasm for the season.

Being in the kitchen is just a way I feel connected to her during this time. Using dishes that have been passed along are just a soft touch for me to keep my Mom, grandmother, and memories alive in my mind.

It’s my hope to share, teach and inspire the young women in my family to carry on the traditions for upcoming years and generations for their families.

What traditions do you have in your family during the holidays? Have you started new ones or do you carry on ones that have been in your family for a long time?

Below you’ll find the traditional pumpkin pie recipe I use each year. Enjoy!

(1) 9 inch pie crust. ( homemade or a defrosted all ready crust)

2 eggs, lightly beaten, (1) can 15oz. Solid packed pumpkin, 3/4 c sugar, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. ground cinnamon, 1/2 tsp. ground ginger, 1/4 tsp. ground cloves, (1) can 12 oz. undiluted evaporated milk

Prepare pie crust, mix filling ingredients in order listed. Pour into crust. Bake in preheated 425 oven for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350. Bake an additional 40-50 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. If necessary cover edge of crust with foil to prevent burning.

Cool and garnish as desired.

The Power To Inspire

Inspire:

fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.

Also, motivate, encourage, influence, move or stir.

There are many people in my life who inspire me, who encourage and motivate me.

My husband. My mom. Friends. Even strangers.

On an athletic level I admire so many athletes. Although I am far from the league they are in, there is a common thread ( I believe) no matter what our level of athleticism.

Determination. Focus. Perseverance. Tenacity. Intensity. Drive. Hunger. Passion. Goal driven. An unwillingness to stay the same but to constantly be improving on where we are.

A spirit that never quits and doesn’t know the meaning of it.

I see individuals who haven’t been willing to stay where they are but push to get better, to work harder, to know they won’t be the same months from now.

I want to be like that.

That inspires me. The “me” who is a kinda ordinary, middle-aged mom, grandmother, sassy wife, and late blooming athlete.

My husband often shoots me down when I used the word “ordinary”… ha… he says I’m anything but ordinary… I’ll take that for the compliment I know it is 😉

When I have people tell me I inspire them, well, that’s up there for me on the list of awesome things. If I can inspire people who know me and know what I’m up to with my physical antics, to get out and do something, I couldn’t ask for anything better. If sharing what I’m doing stirs them, makes them think, “Hey, if she can do that, I can try something”

Yeah, amazing.

But you know who really inspires me?

You.

The one who is still in the process of getting yourself out there. It doesn’t come easy yet and you struggle with making yourself do it, but you do.

The one who is willing to try something new, knows nothing about it, but is game to learn.

The Mom out pushing a stroller.

The older people walking their neighborhoods.

The cyclists flying down the road for miles.

The new runner who is still figuring it out and learning to run more than walk.

The overweight person taking those first steps towards physical freedom.

I’m inspired by those of you who follow my blog, and I see the things you’re out in the world doing and it makes me want to press on. You run, cycle, teach, lead, and inspire in your own worlds. You’re on the road, in the gym, doing boot camps and other crazy things.

Sometimes, as I scroll through my Facebook page, I see posts of my friends who are sharing their activities. I love the posts and pictures. I love seeing them doing something positive and good for themselves.

Seriously, some mornings when I’m still sleepy and the idea of exercise seems…. really tremendous… I’ll see someone’s post and it … inspires me. It reminds me of what I’m working to do, to accomplish. And it motivates me to finish off my coffee, get my gear on, and get moving.

Maybe, just maybe, that inspiring thing goes in both directions.

Don’t ever forget, you have great influence within your own circle that surrounds you. Your passion and what you bring to the table can inspire someone around you, never forget that.

As for me, you’ll find me out on the road, doing something always pushing and working a little harder and wanting a little more and never quite settling for where I’m at.

In the end, if what I do has inspired you, that puts joy in my life knowing I’ve made an impact on others.

Do you ever consider the impact you have on your personal world to inspire others?

F.E.A.R.

fear

Growing up I was an avid reader. I still enjoy reading and I like reading on a wide variety of things only now I can do it on my phone, my computer or in book form ( ok I’m still really old school and love nothing more than going to the library and picking out some books, call me a nerd)

One author I readily devoured, was Stephen King. Why?? Why? I’d ask myself when half way through I realized I was terrified. It had crept up on me as subtle as the morning dawn… fear. It gripped my heart and made me drop the book and go find something wholesome and distracting to do so those feelings would subside.

I swear Pet Cemetery left me jumping at every random scratching sound and had me sleeping with one eye open and I couldn’t blame that on Metallica’s music 😉

Geez. He’s so good at scaring you and making you fearful.

Yet, what was scaring me was nothing more than the extreme and deep mind of a gifted writer. I really had nothing to fear.

Yet how often in life can fear grip us when we really have nothing to fear? Fears of the unknown, of “what if”, of what would I do, what if this happen? etc. etc.

Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we didn’t feel it, we couldn’t protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are far from life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason.

Look at that last part again…. hang back for no good reason.

What fear causes you to hang back from something or leaves you worried or causes you anxiety for no good reason?

I was thinking this past week (one night when I was supposed to be falling asleep) about a long ride I was going to do the next morning. The long ride wasn’t what was troubling me. I knew I could handle the mileage. What I was feeling a little fearful about was what I’d encounter on my long ride.

A hill that twisted and turned, which I guess you could say, led up to the top of the mountain it actually was. There was also another significant hill on my route, I felt fairly confident I’d nail that ok.

But this other one, that was troubling me. Ok, if I’m honest with you, my readers all over the world, I was a bit fearful.

discard fear

Why??? That next morning with the miles building under me and settling into the rhythm of the road, it was in my head, a presence almost taunting me.

It left me fearing my abilities, or perhaps, lack thereof to take on something so formidable. I’m fairly new to the world of cycling and I was riding on terrain where they run one of the toughest cycling races in our state.

Did I have what it would take? I knew I was strong but was I strong enough to muscle that hill ?

What I knew I had to get on top of long before I got there, was my mental game. I couldn’t go into that without my mind firmly being in place. If there’s one thing I’ve learned as an athlete, my mental game has to be as strong, if not stronger, than my body.

Fears, will cripple your mental game.

So I began to mentally talk to myself what was I afraid of? Really?

I was afraid of not being able to do it, of failing.

I then asked myself, and what if I couldn’t, what was the worst that could happen?

EEK.. get off and push it up the hill??

I was afraid I wouldn’t have the physical strength to do it, that somehow , I’d be lacking.

Fear can cripple us from moving forward, no matter what it is in our life we want to take on.

I didn’t want to “hang back for no good reason”. I wanted to face what it was head on and know that I could do it. I knew once I tackled it, it would not seem as insurmountable as next time.

The sun was out high in the sky although it was still morning. Sweat had already soaked me and was running down my legs and arms, my gloves were wet under my hands. I felt my legs respond to the incline. I tried to make my breathing as focused and even as when I was in childbirth, slow, steady and measured. My heart, it let me know if was doing it’s job 😉

I took that hill, I focused on each pedal stroke, tried to keep my breathing even ( which was pretty hard!), and knew that when I got to the top I’d be back on my “regular” training ground again.

I was so afraid that thing was gonna eat my lunch.

It didn’t.

I did it. I never let that fear come back that I couldn’t. I felt victorious.

You know what? I just did that hill again yesterday. I have a very healthy respect for it. But you wanna know something?

I improved my time from my first attempt….so there’s that…. I went up it faster.

Fears can cripple us. They can hold us back and keep us from new victories, in all areas of our lives.

I love this quote from Zig Ziglar…

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget everything and run” or ” Face everything and rise” the choice, is yours”

I’ve heard this before, and well for me, face everything and rise is where I’m at.

Now, what about you? Do you have fears that hinder you or cause you to hang back from living? What will you choose? to rise? or to run?

fear 2

Another Year Older, Again ?!

So it’s arrived. It showed up without a lot of fanfare or big announcements. My alarm glared me into foggy reality, a new day to open my eyes, and a calendar that tells me I’m now , officially, another year older.

Go me!

I don’t have any weird hang ups about getting older. The cool thing is… I don’t feel older…

I will admit sometimes, having to stop and think about my exact age. I just don’t give it much thought anymore.

live your life

I’ve not dreaded another year as if that’s going to change something in me. For the love of chocolate, I’ve been allowed to LIVE another year, who cares what number is attached to it?

I’m loving where I am in life and most of all love what I’ve been able to accomplish to this point.

I’ve found age to be irrelevant in regards to taking on new adventures and challenges. On an athletic level and what I’ve accomplished, age has nothing to do with levels of fitness. I can out run and out do people half my age. My kids freely admit they wouldn’t even want to go up against me 😛

I had to laugh at my doctor recently as he suggested that I “have fun but take it easy as I’m older” I told him I’ve done more physically in the last 3 years than I’ve ever done and I really don’t have any intention of slowing down. Not to mention I’m in the best physical condition I’ve ever been in to take on new adventures.

new goal

Ok.. hear me.. I’m not implying acting foolishly. I listen to my body and I know the difference between training hard and if there’s something I need to let heal and get better. That’s a most important aspect of getting older… having a little wisdom 😛

It should be noted about the good doctor here… he… was the one who encouraged me to get back to some exercise 8 years ago. How could he have imagined the wild adventures his counsel would lead me to ??

So yes, I’ve embraced new challenges. I know that there’s nothing I can’t do if I set my mind to it. Age is not a factor in being a good athlete.

But there’s more too. More to this getting another year older thing.

It’s being comfortable in and with who I am. Finding my voice and using it. Daring to be different.

I realized one morning, flying down the road on my bike at a crazy speed, I will not be sitting back quietly, getting older, watching life go by. I will not be a woman society will box up and set aside…. as if…. my age somehow will dictate my worthiness or abilities in some way.

Nah… I don’t see that happening. I won’t be quiet. I won’t sit back and follow some random rules that society says I have to play along with. I will think for myself, make my own rules.

Well, oops, I already have.

I will be the older, talkative, energetic and out going free spirit wife, mom, sister, aunt, friend in the tank top and short shorts at the family picnics 😛

I will continue to find humor in random things and laugh freely because laughter is always good for the soul. I will have fun taking crazy selfies at the spur of the moment just for the pure sport and fun of it and chronicle my adventures because it pleases… me.

I for sure, won’t be boring.

Age has taught me a few, I believe, important things….

To appreciate more and grumble less.

To value all I have, it’s not something I’m “entitled” to.

To appreciate all kinds of people and not make split decisions based on the outer appearance.

To truly be comfortable in my own skin.

I’ve learned there are times in life when silence can be as powerful as a spoken word.

But then I’ve also learned to speak up and speak out if I believe in something , see something as wrong, or if it’s something I’m passionate about.

I’ve learned to challenge myself more and not doubt my abilities to do something ( I will admit this one has been hard as I hate the idea of failing at something)

I’ve learned to accept from others the wisdom they can offer me.

I freely and openly engage with new people, believing and understanding, I can always learn something new from others who have different experiences and knowledge.

To love every moment of a “normal” day because when life throws things at you, you long for “normal” days.

Friendships come on all age levels. I love my mature friends who have walked roads before me and can offer sage advice and wisdom, but I also draw so much energy from my young friends who have this passionate nature for life. We encourage each other.

Diversity makes life way more interesting than surrounding yourself with only people “like you.”

I’ve learned to be less concerned over a perceived need for approval. Mainly because I don’t live my life with a focus on how someone else might do things, or if they approve how I do them.

I don’t take myself to seriously but I’ve also learned how to think deeply.

Being older isn’t a hindrance to pursuing new adventures and challenges.

Ah…. there are so many other things… I could go on….

Let’s just say, as I am waking up to a another year being older, I don’t dread it.

I am a woman who is grateful to have been given life. Who views the years she has lived as opportunities to have gained wisdom, maturity, confidence and an awareness of exactly who she is, what she wants, and where she’s going.

I want to continue to live in a fierce, bold way.

So here’s to life and another year of living out loud. Cheers to 50ish!

20160710_134256 (1).jpg — Body powered by black coffee and exercise 😉