Moms. If we all share one thing in common, we don’t get into this world without one. If we’re fortunate we grow up with one that we manage to use and abuse, torture, and love and share life with. Ideally, we learn from them in the ways of living life and lurch out into the world as somewhat well behaved, respectful, and productive citizens.
That’s the plan.
I remember years back during a long day that felt really demanding having this thought slam into me at the force of a F5 hurricane…..
“OMG…. I’m the mom now……”
My heart was racing and I broke out into a sweat sinking into a chair as that thought washed over me.
Well, not really, but it was definitely one of those moments. Not that I hadn’t been a “mom” already at that point it just seemed that the light bulb came on.
I was going to be the room mom, project manager for all those lovely school projects, comforter during illnesses and relationship break ups, washer of mounds of clothes, baker and chef, chauffeur, etiquette teacher, counselor & advisor, maid of a neat and clean home for them to inhabit, lunch maker and slicer of apples and crust removal…. or my favorite… I can’t create a major school project out of a few toilet paper rolls the night before it’s due because you “forgot” even though they assigned it months ago 😛 Oh gosh, the list can go on.
We take care of those creatures… meet their needs and hopefully give them stability and a good life.
BUT in the mix of offering yourself up like a sacrifice to these creatures… perhaps they get to comfy with how well we take care of them.
For example, they develop a blind eye to glops of toothpaste in the sink, and learn to skillfully and carefully balance a single piece of trash on the (obviously) overflowing trash can. I’ve watched to see how long a roll of toilet paper could be left to wander around the floor before someone might take the 1.2 seconds to pop it in place ( note… sometimes the empty roll is all that’s left 😉 An empty dishwasher is certainly an invitation to leave them on the counter…
They must believe a magical fairy lives among them providing a clean home for them to live in… 😉
Then I had this thought… maybe… it’s me. Maybe I’m the odd one. No one else seems troubled by all the things I mentioned above. Like… not at all. They move through their days seemingly oblivious to the things that make me twitch.
I did an experiment the other morning. During the night it was obvious one of the dogs had lifted some trash from their bathroom trash can… it was like… right in the walk way to get into the bathroom…. I decided I’d leave it and see if someone would pick it up… or if they would just continue to step over it…I figured if no one got picked it up it would still be there waiting for me 😉
After awhile one son mentioned it and I casually said I was doing an experiment to see if people would continue to walk around it, or actually go ahead and pick it up….
To my surprise, after awhile, I realized it was gone.
There. Is. Hope.
I do know this, that even if my kids aren’t overly worried about housekeeping at this point, they can cook and do laundry, and have a working knowledge of managing their money, they have manners and know how to be respectful and polite. They are funny and kind. They understand the importance of working and investing themselves into it. Yeah,and they really do know how to clean ’cause I’ve seen them get after it before their friends come over haha it always impresses me that they keep those cleaning skills so well hidden 😉
So yeah, it is a rather non-stop, often thankless, hard, never ending job as a mom…. but then when you see your kids turning into adults and realizing that they really are getting it, makes you realize all that work, time and frustration over heaping trash and goopy toothpaste was all worth while .
They make you laugh. They make you cry. They frustrate you to the point of no return and you have had mental images of wrapping your hands around their throat 😉
Have you had those “mom” moments? I don’t want to leave the guys out either. But have you had moments in parenting that you…really…wondered? And yet somehow you’ve managed to get your kids to adulthood and want to celebrate that fact ’cause honestly, at times, you just weren’t sure you were gonna pull it off ?