“Hey, how’s the running going?!” a friend inquired of me…..
I wanted to blab something like… “I’m training for a 100 miler next” or “I’ve got a couple marathons on the books”… heck I wanted to say I was doing the local 5K Bubblegum run… anything…something.
Instead my response was…. “it isn’t” and my blah, blah, blah that I’m still tethered by an ugly injury.
I shared with you, my lovely readers, in a post a few weeks back that my sports doctor told me ( again) it’s insertional Achilles tendonitis. I had been doing some (light) running and it got no better and no worse, and so like many runners I had this ( stubborn) mentality, “if it’s not gonna get better, flip it, I’m running.”
But after seeing sports doc and his “no running” at the top of the list…
I had to take a hard look at some things. If I wanted to get old with running I had to surrender.
It’s funny, in the beginning, when one starts running, there is a surrender. You surrender to a call, a pull, to be on the road. You feel the desire to go longer and farther. The surrender of your body to push more…to reach deeper in yourself… in that surrender… you find yourself out there on the road.
In the dark early mornings. In the sunset runs. In the hot and cold. In joy and sorrow.
If you’re a runner, you know what I mean. It’s a surrender to yourself..an abandonment.
I guess I had an epiphany the other night.
Let’s call it the other side of surrender. The “ok, I give in. I yield. I will do what I have to do. I surrender my plans, goals and visions…for now”.
Because if I want to grow old with running, and if I want to get out there and have another shot at a 50K, or train for another marathon, or work on kicking my speed up to drop my 5k time, I have to surrender to the time it takes to heal my body properly. I surrender to the fact it could be a long time until I can run again without the injury being an issue.
And with all that in mind… I will do what I need to do.. and I am. In fact, on some levels I can feel a difference already. And even though my heart longs to run, my body is being kept busy doing other things.
I’ve been spending a lot of time on my bike which gives me the miles and exhilaration I crave. That’s not a bad thing ’cause I want to do a duathlon someday ( a run, bike, run event).
I’m doing a lot more strength training and being careful to stay away from any activities that will irritate or cause it further stress. I’m icing, stretching, rolling my legs and feet a lot more.
Andddddd I’m super excited over my new cardio activity that’s coming to me….
I got a rowing machine (thank you amazing hubby who supports my athletic endeavors 🙂 rowing is a kick butt intense cardio workout that will fill in the gaps for me while I’m not running. It’s also non-impact/ stress on the tendons and joints so it will be perfect for me while I’m healing. I intend to spend some serious time on it.
When I get back on the road, my body will be strong for the task. Yes, I’ve already faced the frustration that it will almost be like starting over, but, if I’m at the point I can run, I will happily start building myself up again.
I did it once. I can do it again.
So for now, as hard as it is, I surrender to the process believing in the long run ( pun? 😉 it will all be worth it.
What about you happy reader? Have you ever had to come to a point of surrender in your life ? Was it worth it ?