Hey boys and girls. Happy Monday! So many things I could talk about in todays edition but I’m going to just focus on a topic that’s been on my mind a lot this week and left me musing the ways of our world and how disturbing a current situation is.
So I guess I should just say today’s post is going to be a little heavier and a whole lot of me thinking out loud on some dark things.
So what’s on my mind, exactly?
Well, if you live in the states, you’d have to be under a rock to not know what’s been going on in the political arena of our nation.
We (were) in the process of appointing a new Justice to our Supreme Court, Brett Kavanaugh.
If you live somewhere in the rest of our vast world, I’m sure there is possible news of it where you live as well.
In a nutshell, things were moving along, literally hours from him being appointed when a woman materialized proclaiming he had sexually abused her some 30 odd years ago… like when they were in college.
Ok.. but first.
Before I go any further I’m going to establish this…… never, ever is it right or appropriate for someone to touch, handle or take advantage of a person, man OR woman against their will or wishes. To cross boundaries they’ve not been given permission to cross is unacceptable.
Yes, I’m including men because if women hold back from saying anything about what happens to them, men for sure will not speak. And yes, it does happen to them but there’s always the stereotypical thought that a guy would be ok with it and would want it ’cause well, he’s a guy.
There’s a meme that circulates around that I guess, some find to be clever or funny. It’s pictures of Hollywood women in glamorous, yet low cut, backless, thigh cut dresses. The caption says something stupid like… “If you don’t want people touching your critters, don’t make your barn look like a petting zoo” and supposedly someone’s grandmother said it ( yes they can say some funny things) I don’t find it funny… it makes me angry every time I see it.
Not only is it stupid, it’s putting the blame on the person and how they may or may not be dressed and not putting the blame on the person who’s putting their hands on someone against their wishes.
Let’s put the blame firmly where it belongs… and it’s not on the victim.
AS IF… how you may be dressed gives someone a right to touch you. This is the screwed up mentality that has to be dealt with today.
No matter your gender, any unwanted, non consensual advances directed towards you are wrong.
Now with that being said…..
I guess I’ve been troubled over so many aspects of what has turned this important appointment into a circus by grown men and women who are a part of our government running our country.
Shameful behaviors all because at the root they’ve never gotten over the election results.
Shameful how a man has been placed on trial…although they try and pretty it up calling it a “job interview”. It’s reminded me of the old time lynchings when white men went in angry mobs to find the black man they were so convinced had done an offense because he was well, black.
Did they have facts? evidence? Anything conclusive?
Often, not likely.
Shameful how he’s been ridiculed for having a righteous anger over having his name, his family and his reputation dragged through the mud. How dare he be angry? As if… how dare he be upset over all that was going on? How often I’ve heard the holy than thou people bring that up.
Shameful that a woman who decided she had to “share her truth” …. ironically at this very moment in time…… has not been given any more protection from the onslaught that has come from bringing her story forward.
Even if it does lack huge gaps and has some perplexing questions to it.
I’ve watched numerous news stories with women screaming in the streets already proclaiming he’s guilty. They are wild eyed and on a mission.
This is my gender. Sometimes I’m disturbed my by gender.
They have no evidence. They have no facts. They have no personal accounts or interactions with either of these people. At best they have what the media has regurgitated and fed them.
But by damn, he’s a man, and he’s guilty.
I understand many carry pain and angst over personal experiences, but personal experiences aren’t what’s used to proclaim a man guilty.
And I don’t want someone going off telling me I don’t understand. Yes, there are all types of abuse, inappropriate behavior, and wrong doing that happen against people who wish otherwise.
Growing up, I always looked older. People saw my height and made an assumption I was older. My mom was constantly keeping the male species in line with me.
I remember when I was young, 13-14, a family friend being a bit to flirty and hands on with me at a party. I remember an Uncle ( slightly drunken at the time) making comments about my barely there breasts in a little dress I happened to have loved. I remember spending time at the track during the Fair ( I adored horses) and many would let me hang out and brush them and a man far to old wanting to hold me in a hug longer than necessary which to this day I can still remember how uncomfortable it made me. These are just a few situations I’m sharing,
I was far from my woman skills which would take me years to hone, to learn how to handle and deal with anything like that.
Every one of those people trespassed where they shouldn’t have, whether it was with comments or their hands.
As a woman today I am confident in my abilities to put people in their place. Do I deal with things still?
All the time.
There’s a fine line between an admiring look and someone leering at me. I’ve been followed in the grocery store multiple times. I’ve had someone stand so close to me in line they told me my hair smelled good… I thought I’d need security that day leaving I was so creeped out.
I’ve seen men with their phones out not being subtle that they were taking a photo.
So yeah, I deal with stuff.
I say all that to put myself in with those who have dealt with inappropriate behaviors too. Yes, I know many have dealt with much more. But what I shared was as unwanted as what any one else would not want.
Yet, I’m disturbed over the absolute head hunt of a man when there has been no hard facts or evidence.
Where has fairness or reason gone to?
It’s hard to hear things like “college party”, “heavy drinking” etc and not think.. how is that different then from what we hear going on today? And how if people were judged on being in college and drinking and it played into their lives 30ish years later would that affect their jobs? their lives?
Many people live a heavy partying lifestyle in younger days and mature into responsible, law abiding citizens.
Again, I have no “personal” facts or information on this subject, I am merely an outsider observing and thinking out loud.
And really, the majority of people will only cast outside opinions driven largely by emotion and their own personal experiences.
That… does not make a man guilty.
I know my gender.
I’m surrounded with some cool women. But then I’ve been exposed to some that make me raise my eyebrows and wonder… what the heck?
I know stories can be turned. I know anger can breed revenge. I know unreturned desires can lead to petty behaviors. I know willing sex can be turned around on the man to get even or make a point or even proclaim rape.
Again, I do not have personal information on the woman involved in this situation. I’m not judging her. I believe something happened to her.
I’m just saying… things aren’t always what they appear to be painted.
So I watch all of this unfolding, troubled, as I know many are. Troubled over how all of it seems odd, how people are acting so horribly, how people to the far left think nothing of a respected man and his family being dragged through hell and back thinking “he deserves it” when they know nothing, and at this moment, there isn’t any hard evidence or witnesses supporting it otherwise. Troubled over how it feels like a modern day lynching as I referred to earlier.
As I write this, there is an “official” investigation under way before any possible progress moves towards him being seated on the Supreme Court.
I feel fairly certain, even with the FBI involved, there will be that group who will still not be happy, still not accept the answer and still continue to stir up trouble and angst, no matter what the answer is.
And like many others, I feel like, good. Do the investigation. Then no one should be able to complain, right? Ha.
It is important to cover all important angles before something as big as a new Supreme Court Justice is ruled on.
An honest inquiry gathering facts is far better than the crazed frenzy I’ve seen displayed on the news reports.
But more troubling than all this….
I have a lot of wonderful men in my life. Much like Brett Kavanaugh is to many people in his life and his work.
It is troubling to think that years from now a woman could go back to some random party, ( to use words in the news ” a drunken party” or a “drunken college party”) and with years gone by and an alcohol ladled mind, bring charges against one of them.
Far fetched? Maybe.
If you asked Mr. Kavanaugh a couple weeks ago, he would’ve thought it a bit far fetched too I’m sure, yet here he is.
Just as women need protected from sexual assault, and unwanted advances and all that go with it, men need protection too.
So I’m left mulling all these things around in my head this week. Wondering what the answer is, not just for this situation, but for our society as a whole.
How do we protect women? How do we protect a man who would be innocent? What if all our lives ( those things from our past) were dragged out and waved around to our employer? If we did this with others in high political positions it’s fairly certain many would be ushered out the door.
How many could stand under the examine and be able to walk away still holding their job? If drinking and college partying are criminal, there’s a whole lotta people in the same boat.
I’d be way more concerned if this was still his behavior and what he participated in today.
Where have we gone wrong to feel self righteous in finding a man guilty without evidence to support it?
So my thoughts continue to roam, unsure of what the answer is, or will be. I do know that we need to have a level of human decency in the process. I do know that wild behavior, driven by personal emotions, isn’t the answer.
What I do pray is that righteousness and justice prevail and that those in charge have clear wisdom in all that goes on in this process.
As stated, these are my thoughts, my musings, on a highly volatile topic.
Your turn to weigh in. Thoughts? Is there a cut and dried way to deal with situations like this? How do we help victims and protect those who may be innocent?